while i don't remember everything about the past 6 weeks, the first week i recall as clear as a bell.
the first 3 days of being home were the hardest 3 days of my life. the lack of sleep backlogged from the start of labor, my body feeling broken down, trying to get to know this little being, but most of all because of breastfeeding.
they only agreed to let me go home from the hospital because breastfeeding appeared to be going well. she was latching, i was "comfortable". things looked promising.
cracked, bleeding, and scabbed over nipples will tell you just how things were NOT going well. by the end of the first night home, i was having severe anxiety every time gemma would cry from hunger. i was in so much pain, i didn't want to feed her and i felt so incredibly guilty. the public health nurse who came for a home visit gave me different tips to help things along, none of which worked.
formula was never an option for us before she was born, but it sure sounded good to me then. still, jesse never let me give in. instead, he ran out late at night to get me a breast pump. a medela hand pump. and a couple bottles. at this point, obviously my milk wasn't in yet, so i was pumping like a quarter of a quarter of an ounce of colostrum (the result of probably 30 minutes of pumping) and feeding gemma with a dropper, which she slurped up in 0.0000000005 seconds.
the next day (postpartum day 3), my milk came in. a lactation consultant came to visit me and gave me a nipple shield. things were looking up. i could kinda breastfeed pain-free. hot compresses before nursing, polysporin after every feed, and use of the shield everytime was what was recommended. things were looking up.
then within a couple of days, i was back to having pain - even with the shield. so then i began pumping like crazy - i wanted to make sure i had enough milk for gemma. the LC had been worried about gemma's weight loss and so i was on a mission to get her fattened up.
over a weekend, she gained over 200 g.
thank goodness for that pump. without it, neither i nor gemma would've made it through that first week intact.
my body, despite all the emotional turmoil, was doing good. sure, i was sore for the first 2 days, sweating profusely, and feeling ...deflated... but thanks to my mom, i was feeling like my old self within probably 4 days. i had some afterpains for the first 2 days, but advil took care of that. i had a very minor tear from delivery and a couple resulting stitches, which didn't bother me at all. 20 lb was gone by the end of the first week. i ate seaweed soup by the potfuls (a korean postpartum ritual).
the first 3 days of being home were the hardest 3 days of my life. the lack of sleep backlogged from the start of labor, my body feeling broken down, trying to get to know this little being, but most of all because of breastfeeding.
they only agreed to let me go home from the hospital because breastfeeding appeared to be going well. she was latching, i was "comfortable". things looked promising.
cracked, bleeding, and scabbed over nipples will tell you just how things were NOT going well. by the end of the first night home, i was having severe anxiety every time gemma would cry from hunger. i was in so much pain, i didn't want to feed her and i felt so incredibly guilty. the public health nurse who came for a home visit gave me different tips to help things along, none of which worked.
formula was never an option for us before she was born, but it sure sounded good to me then. still, jesse never let me give in. instead, he ran out late at night to get me a breast pump. a medela hand pump. and a couple bottles. at this point, obviously my milk wasn't in yet, so i was pumping like a quarter of a quarter of an ounce of colostrum (the result of probably 30 minutes of pumping) and feeding gemma with a dropper, which she slurped up in 0.0000000005 seconds.
the next day (postpartum day 3), my milk came in. a lactation consultant came to visit me and gave me a nipple shield. things were looking up. i could kinda breastfeed pain-free. hot compresses before nursing, polysporin after every feed, and use of the shield everytime was what was recommended. things were looking up.
then within a couple of days, i was back to having pain - even with the shield. so then i began pumping like crazy - i wanted to make sure i had enough milk for gemma. the LC had been worried about gemma's weight loss and so i was on a mission to get her fattened up.
over a weekend, she gained over 200 g.
thank goodness for that pump. without it, neither i nor gemma would've made it through that first week intact.
my body, despite all the emotional turmoil, was doing good. sure, i was sore for the first 2 days, sweating profusely, and feeling ...deflated... but thanks to my mom, i was feeling like my old self within probably 4 days. i had some afterpains for the first 2 days, but advil took care of that. i had a very minor tear from delivery and a couple resulting stitches, which didn't bother me at all. 20 lb was gone by the end of the first week. i ate seaweed soup by the potfuls (a korean postpartum ritual).
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