second time not so easy

I seem to be constantly sabotaging myself.

When I was pregnant with Leni, I expected my pregnancy to be similar to when I was pregnant with Gemma, especially after finding out this one was a girl also. And because I wasn't expecting it to be too different, boy was I surprised when I kept getting hit with all kinds of physical and emotional challenges...

When I was nearing the end of my pregnancy, I expected my labor and delivery to be similar to Gemma's, if not easier and shorter. And while the labor was indeed shorter and easier, the delivery took me for a ride that I never expected. Instead of "two pushes and she'll be out", as you know, it was so difficult and rather traumatizing...

When Leni was born, I expected the same challenges with breastfeeding and felt confident I could pull through. While the latching was once again an issue, I never even dreamed of the difficulty getting her to eat, stay awake, nipple confusion, and all that kerfuffle with the jaundice and such. 

When Leni hit 6 weeks, I expected her to do well with the same routine as the one I put Gemma through - eat, play, sleep. While it showed promise in the first day, I can tell you it's not working like it did with Gemma and I am at a loss as to how to handle this "different" baby. 

When I was pregnant with Gemma, I never knew what to expect... That was way better. I ought to know what I'm doing since this is my second time around, but nothing works the way it did before. While I know that every child is different, I can't help but to always refer to what worked with Gemma and I am at a loss when the same tricks don't work on Leni. All I need to do is find a routine that works with Leni, but I only just get frustrated that she won't take to the same things that Gemma did.

If I may offer one unsolicited advice to anyone expecting their second child, that is to clear your mind as if this is your first and take to everything like this is your first time. Don't get cocky - it will only screw you over. 

Now to listen to my own advice....