Perfect

that is the word i will use to describe this evening. 

The day didn't start out that way. In fact, we had a semi-rough night last night with Gemma frequently crying out from her sleep. The first time was around 10:30 PM. I was hoping she would just fall back asleep, so i ignored her for a little while. She kept crying out, however - and not like a screaming cry, not a sobbing cry, and not a "i need you right this instant" kind of cry. It was more like a low moany cry, but she kept on instead of falling back asleep. When I went into her room, I expected her to be sitting up or standing holding on to the crib rail. Instead, she was on her side - sleeping, but still moaning and crying. So i don't know if she was just having a sad dream or what. I left and went back to bed (but couldn't fall back asleep), but Gemma kept moaning on and off. 

A little while later, I went back in because she was still crying out. She was on her back, on top of my robe (which she sleeps with). So I took the robe out from under her and put it over her. Then she seemed to quieten down right away and so I just went back to sleep. 

That's why I say it was only semi-rough;

Poor thing is getting her bottom lateral incisors in and has been drooling nonstop and has a really runny and stuffed nose. She's been a trooper though and all I can do is be there for her when she needs me. 

So on to this evening.

She's been a little apprehensive about her baths again the last few days, so tonight i decided to go in with her. At first she wasn't sure, but then she really started to have fun and began splashing around like she does at the swimming pool. After nearly half an hour of nonstop splashing, she was not happy when we pulled her out of there. Just sitting there with her and watching her have fun - it was so nice. It felt nice to also know that I was helping her with her bathtime anxiety. 

Then she got her bottle of formula. I turned off the lights and sat in the glider and rocked as she drank, singing the lulluby my mom used to sing for me. When she finished her bottle, she gave it to me, then looked at me with sleepy eyes as I sang and rocked her. It's weird, but I could feel the comfort i was giving her. I haven't rocked her to sleep in so long and even now just thinking about it, i feel like i'm going to cry (though it may be the hormones)... 

I am so incredibly in love with Gemma, I can't even describe it. My heart overflows with love for her. As indepdent as she is, it sure feels nice to know how much she still needs me...