Dol

Wow, what a party. 

Yesterday, Jesse, Gemma, and I celebrated her birthday with 47 guests. I was so frazzled in many ways because I wanted to keep things moving as I knew there were babies who were getting cranky and people who were getting hungry, but all in all, i think things went well. The biggest surprise of all was how well Gemma did even with only a half hour nap in the morning. 

After we ate, we changed Gemma into her hanbok and did the doljabi - which is where the baby picks an item amongst a few items laid in front of her, each with a different meaning for her future. We had rice (health), notebook and pencil (brains), yarn (long life), and money (wealth). Gemma didn't hesitate. She went right for the pencil. She's gonna be a genius (but I already knew that, she's so smart even now)!!!

Gemma was showered with gifts and we sang happy birthday, she got to taste her first real sweet (a carrot cupcake). Lots and Lots of pictures and hugs and visits later, we all went home. 

She slept like a rock in the car and didn't wake up when my mom picked her up out of the car. She just laid her in her crib and Gemma kept on sleeping. I finally had to wake her up 2 hours later. 

Boy, did she ever love the attention of family and friends. She is very blessed and loved and I hope she always "remembers" this day through the photos and cards. 

Thank you everyone for making this such a special day for our little family. What a party.

#2 Update

This pregnancy is starting to hit me. I am so bloated, it's crazy. My pants are so tight and it's hard to breathe at times. I don't remember being this bloated with Gemma - not this early anyway. But this has been going on for over a week already.

Today, I'm feeling tired. My mom has been so gracious and letting me sleep in the morning if Gemma wakes up earlier than usual. I don't know what I would do without her, really.

Smells are becoming an issue also. This weekend I was at Michaels and was so bothered by the smell, I had a huge headache by the time we left. We've been at Michaels like on a weekly basis for the past 2 months and I never had this problem until Sunday.

I also noticed my appetite is changing. Maybe it's because I'm so bloated and not feeling hungry, but I don't want to eat a lot of the time. I'm not nauseous or anything yet and am not having cravings yet either, but I definitely have a different outlook towards food right now.

What a Baby...

Gemma is feeling much better now. She is back to her old self. Her drooling has subsided and she is no longer crying out at night. The only thing is her runny nose is turning into more of a stuffy nose as the snot hardens up, so she is having a hard time breathing while drinking, eating, etc.

But she sure got used to being really babied in the last few days. I can't help but baby her when she is feeling under the weather, so I rocked her to sleep, I cuddled her lots, I let her do what she wanted and eat what she wanted.

Already this morning she had two big fits over me not letting her do what she wanted (like play with my keyboard and mouse while I'm trying to work). She whines a lot and makes a pouty face over everything, thinking that might change our minds.... and of course daddy falls of all of her little faces, but mommy - mommy knows. and it's not as easy with mommy... LOL.

Perfect

that is the word i will use to describe this evening. 

The day didn't start out that way. In fact, we had a semi-rough night last night with Gemma frequently crying out from her sleep. The first time was around 10:30 PM. I was hoping she would just fall back asleep, so i ignored her for a little while. She kept crying out, however - and not like a screaming cry, not a sobbing cry, and not a "i need you right this instant" kind of cry. It was more like a low moany cry, but she kept on instead of falling back asleep. When I went into her room, I expected her to be sitting up or standing holding on to the crib rail. Instead, she was on her side - sleeping, but still moaning and crying. So i don't know if she was just having a sad dream or what. I left and went back to bed (but couldn't fall back asleep), but Gemma kept moaning on and off. 

A little while later, I went back in because she was still crying out. She was on her back, on top of my robe (which she sleeps with). So I took the robe out from under her and put it over her. Then she seemed to quieten down right away and so I just went back to sleep. 

That's why I say it was only semi-rough;

Poor thing is getting her bottom lateral incisors in and has been drooling nonstop and has a really runny and stuffed nose. She's been a trooper though and all I can do is be there for her when she needs me. 

So on to this evening.

She's been a little apprehensive about her baths again the last few days, so tonight i decided to go in with her. At first she wasn't sure, but then she really started to have fun and began splashing around like she does at the swimming pool. After nearly half an hour of nonstop splashing, she was not happy when we pulled her out of there. Just sitting there with her and watching her have fun - it was so nice. It felt nice to also know that I was helping her with her bathtime anxiety. 

Then she got her bottle of formula. I turned off the lights and sat in the glider and rocked as she drank, singing the lulluby my mom used to sing for me. When she finished her bottle, she gave it to me, then looked at me with sleepy eyes as I sang and rocked her. It's weird, but I could feel the comfort i was giving her. I haven't rocked her to sleep in so long and even now just thinking about it, i feel like i'm going to cry (though it may be the hormones)... 

I am so incredibly in love with Gemma, I can't even describe it. My heart overflows with love for her. As indepdent as she is, it sure feels nice to know how much she still needs me...

Number Two

I'm pregnant. It happened faster than I had anticipated. I only got one period after weaning Gemma and then ...boom. I think when we decided to start trying, we were aiming for late August/early September and were thinking that because Gemma took 2 months to conceive, this one would be similar. This little one is due July 30, 2011.

I knew my cycle this time around would be irregular as it's my first period in 19 months. So as much as we were "trying", I didn't expect it to happen. But I felt real crampy 3 weeks in and that's what got me to do a test with Gemma, so I kinda wondered. But I had two negative pregnancy tests in a span of a week, so I thought maybe not. Then a week later, I was sitting at my work desk when I looked over and saw a pile of Kleenex i had blown my nose into. For some reason, that made me think I might be pregnant - I had a super runny/stuffed nose throughout my entire pregnancy with Gemma - and so I did a test. The line was super duper faint, like a trick on the eye. I told Jesse I might be and that I would repeat it the next day.

Then we got hit by a huge snowstorm and I didn't get a chance to get out of the house, so it was a few days before Jesse finally picked one up for me on his way home. It was positive, a much more definite line this time.

When we told my mom right away, she didn't believe us. She just kept asking, "are you serious? are you joking? is this real?" and then finally when we convinced her, she said "ugh, i'm so tired!". LOL. I know that doesn't sound like a very nice reaction, but Gemma was super duper clingy  and so my mom had been holding her pretty well the entire day. She of course is happy for us and is glad we're having two close together because she felt so sorry for my brother (who is 6 years older than me) after I was born as he became very neglected thanks to his very colicky baby sister.

At first, I didn't know how to feel. We were always so wishy-washy about having another baby. Gemma is so perfect to us in every way and we were truthfully afraid of taking attention away from her, afraid of comparing the next baby to Gemma in every way, and we never felt our family was incomplete with just one. We knew it would be nice for Gemma to have a sibling in the long run, but we also felt it wasn't fair to the new baby to just have it for Gemma's sake. We were seriously more than content to be a family of 3 (4 including my mom, 5 including my dog, LOL). Then we thought back to how we felt before we got pregnant with Gemma and all the fears of having a baby and how that was to affect our lives. We were so content to be just to the two of us forever and weren't even sure we wanted to disrupt our twosome. But look at us now... We couldn't be happier with Gemma and can't even begin to imagine not having her in our lives. So this anxiety about baby #2 would be the same - just being afraid of the unknown....

I don't know if the novelty wears off with the second baby or if it's just us because we had all these fears about #2, but the first week after finding out has been a weird one. We both would constantly forget that I'm pregnant. With Gemma I felt like I was always going to blurt it out to everyone, but with #2 it hardly crosses our minds. Isn't that weird? It just wouldn't sink in.

Yesterday I had my first doctor's appointment. I don't know if I just HAD to hear it from a medical professional or what, but after the appointment, I got so excited. I am already booked in at High River to be seen next month and have my 18-week ultrasound requisition. It's like a switch just clicked in my brain and it hit me....I'm having a baby!!!

We're definitely going to find out if it's a boy or girl. I just can't handle the suspense. Before we got pregnant, i always said it HAD to be a girl - I refuse to have a boy! (like I have any control over that whatsoever, LOL) but now, it doesn't matter. as long as he/she is healthy and happy. I can't wait to present to Gemma her new baby sibling. I can't wait to see them playing together, fighting together, blaming each other, saying "I love you" to each other, etc.

I'm pumped.

step by step

it was only about 3 weeks ago that i wrote about Gemma being able to stand for 3 seconds. It's unbelievable how much she changes and how quickly she learns things in such a short period of time. Shortly after she learned to stand very briefly on her own, she took a couple steps towards me. Yesterday, we had a record of 7 steps. She can also walk really well now holding just one of my hands. she still can't stand herself up from a sitting position or anything, but she definitely lets go more when she is standing and playing on her own.

i know it can be months still until she can really walk on her own, but i love seeing all her little progress. I'm so proud!

Party Anxiety????

I don't know why, but i've been having some major bad dreams about Gemma's Dol going all wrong. One night i dreamt there was not enough food and everyone was mad that they had to come all the way here and didn't even get fed properly. Then i dreamt that half the people didn't show up, but people i didn't invite came and it was very weird. Then i dreamt that one of the guests wasn't happy with what was being served, so he changed the menu for everyone! Oy Vay! Can you tell i'm really anxious about the party??? I think planning my wedding was less stressful!

In reality, i think the only thing i have to worry about is the weather and the road conditions. i hope this snow stops at least by Dec 1 and that we have chinooks galore on Gemma's Dol weekend.

That's Better

Phew, last night was back to normal. While she did cry out a couple times, she just put herself back to sleep and we didn't need to worry about going into her room. I was so exhausted last night that I went to bed at 7:30, just a little bit after Gemma went down. It feels nice to get a 11-hour stretch of sleep.

What a Night!

I think that was actually the worst night we've EVER had with Gemma. It was awful. We're all walking around like zombies today.

First of all, day 1 of one nap per day went really well. I mean, she was dead tired by 7 PM, but still managed to sleep until 7 AM, so figured that was what she needed. It was a success.

Day 2, however, not the same. Yesterday, gemma was extremely cranky the ENTIRE day. always whining no matter what she was doing - eating, playing, being read to, cuddling, etc. Yet she only napped for an hour and a half. By 7 PM, she was completely exhausted and went down like a light.

Starting at about 11 PM, she kept waking up. Instead of falling back to sleep, she would start screaming louder, so I went in to help her back to sleep. But each time I turned to leave, she would start screaming agian and not go back to sleep. After about an hour of that, I finally just picked her up and rocked this 22-pounder for an HOUR. It's like she was suspicious that I would leave in the midst of rocking her, so she would close her eyes, but then open them again almost in a panic just to make sure i was there still holding her. I put her down after an hour and she fell asleep.

Twenty minutes later, back to screaming. I decided to do something i NEVER do and bring her into our bed with us. She's not used to such a thing and had a hard time getting comfortable. She would sit up and cry, roll this way and that way, sit up again and cry, etc. It was awful.

Finally she managed to just pass out and the three of us got about 2 hours of sleep. Just after 5 AM, she is back to crying, so I just took her over to the bonus room and laid down beside her. She cuddled with Minnie and was rolling all over the place, sometimes looking like she might fall asleep, but she never did. At close to 6 my mom came and got her and gave her some formula. She told me to get some sleep, so I slept for an hour before starting work.

Right now it's 8 AM and Gemma passed out while my mom was giving her a piggyback about 20 minutes ago. My mom's back in bed as well.

One nap + flu shot + teething = horrible night and I have learned my lesson.

Grandpa will be so disappointed

Gemma hates salmon. All the other fish are okay, but she doesn't like salmon.

yesterday, we had grilled salmon with hollandaise for supper - sockeye salmon that grandpa Konnert brought when he came to visit in August. She doesn't usually have such strong responses to food - and even if she hates what she is eating, she will whine, but will still swallow it. But with the salmon, she was spitting it out and even digging it out of her mouth with her fingers. She was so mad that I was making her eat it.

I was ready to give in and microwave some of her chicken soup that i had made and froze, but my mom decided to open a can of mackerel instead. I was totally like "okay mom, she's not going to eat that. she won't eat salmon, then she definitely won't eat that (it's canned and so has a stronger smell/taste than fresh fish)". My mom says "i know, but i just want to try". And guess what. This kid gobbled it up. In fact, she was kicking her feet and asking for more.

we Koreans sure love our makerel, but i think grandpa will be disappointed that his only granddaughter doesn't share his love for salmon... LOL...