H1N1

so unless you live in a hole in the ground, you must know about all the deaths occurring from H1N1 and the frantic race to get the vaccine. it's really a scary thing.

jesse and my mom are going to get the shot as soon as they're able. i, on the other hand, am not sure whether to get it or not. i'm all for the regular flu shot - i've been getting it for the past 3 years and am happy to get one again this year. Unfortunately, my work won't give the shots to pregnant employees - they want us to get it from the public health system. poop. as for the H1N1, i really need to talk to my doctor next week and see whether i should just not get one or wait for the one formulated for the pregnant women. mind you, if i WASN'T pregnant, i would get it for sure. i'm just a little afraid of the unknown for baby.

with family coming at Christmas, i hope everyone will decide to get the vaccine. i'm particularly worried about jesse's sister as she is in Germany and it sounds like Europe is being hit harder than here. if she doesn't, well then i hope she won't mind wearing a mask and not being able to hold the baby at all. sorry, but that's just how it'll have to be.

... but very lucky

yes. it's true. i cried for an hour over stretch marks.

but then again, i know i'm so incredibly blessed and lucky to have come this far in this pregnancy with little/no problems. and i know i'm not totally safe until the baby is actually here in this world, but i can't help but reflect how truly lucky i have been so far.

my dad's close friend's daughter in law just became pregnant for the second time in 6 years. a very much awaited pregnancy in the family. they already have a 6-year-old, but have been trying this whole time for another baby and only recently succeeded. unfortunately, the mother suffered from terrible, TERRIBLE morning sickness - couldn't eat, drink, had to be admitted a few times, and finally an obstetrician confirmed that the baby was not thriving. they decided to terminate at only 8 weeks.

so what if i can't sleep? so what if my body will never be the same? i can't ever let myself forget just how blessed i am to have come this far with minimal problems and that our baby is HEALTHY. 5 1/2 weeks to go. i'll keep her cooking for as long as i can.

not so lucky

well, yesterday evening when i was about to go into the shower, i discovered my worst nightmare.

there they were. staring at me (well, they would if they had eyes). three lines about an inch or so long on the lower part of my left belly.

stretch marks.

at first i wasn't even sure what they were. i thought maybe they were pant lines (or rather, i was hoping they were pant lines)... but after much close inspection, my worst fears were confirmed.

i spent an hour or so in hysterics, crying.

i knew i would get them. but i was expecting them a lot earlier on. so when i wasn't getting them at 6 months, 7 months, i thought, hey... maybe i'll be lucky. i was globbing on lotion like there is no tomorrow since the day i found out i was pregnant, but apparently that wasn't enough. and now they're here to stay.

Happy Birthday, my LOVE

i can't believe it, but Jesse is 27 today (but don't mention his age to him - he feels SOOOO old).

Thank you God for bringing Jesse into this world 27 years ago and for giving him to me :)

I couldn't ask for a better "partner" through this pregnancy. He has come through for me in ways i could never ever have imagined. i can't wait to see him as a dad, although i already know that he'll be the best dad ever. This little girl is VERY, VERY lucky to have Jesse as her daddy.

Happy birthday Bunny. I love you, I love you, I love you. Next year, we'll celebrate with our 11-month old!

Welcome Ella!

my cousins Ernest and Genny welcomed their newest addition early Tuesday morning (like 1 AM). It was a "mystery" baby and we're thrilled that they had another girl. Presumably her name is Ella, though we haven't heard a confirmation. They really had a hard time picking out a name.

Apparently she looks like her big sister, Anderson, who is a total ball of cuteness. I'm sure she'll be a terrific big sister.

I can't wait to see pictures! and hear whether her name really is Ella! (for the record, if it is, then we're very happy that we changed our name choice - We had the name Stella in mind for a long time up until... well, we got pregnant. had we kept the name Stella, these two cousins would be Stella and Ella. hahahaha

Genny, i hope you're getting plenty of rest and feeling good!

Childbirth Classes (session 2)

i guess this one was more... hands on...

we got to practice different types of laboring positions, different types of breathing, and different roles for the partner. as silly as we feel doing some of these things in front of all these strangers, it was surprisingly good practice. for instance, i never knew how uncomfortable i would be in a squat position or just how awkward it is to sway back and forth leaning on jesse. i think the most comfortable position was just straddling a chair backwards and leaning forward while jesse rubs my back.

then we watched a birth video. then the birth of the placenta. that was much more graphic than i had anticipated. i think jesse handled it better than i did.

it was also surprising to see that out of the 12 couples, only three knew the sex of their baby (well, one wasn't sure, so they get to go back in a week to double check). although other than clothes everything we have for the baby is neutral, i am still very glad that we "know" we're expecting a girl. i think it really helps us to mentally prepare for this arrival and to bond with her in utero.

all in all, it was a better class, but jesse and i agree that we wished the instructor would give us more insider info on the experience, not just teaching us what we can read for ourselves in the book.

next week, all about interventions and pain management. should be another interesting one.

nursery update

so last weekend, the three of us did a lot of shuffling around. originally, we were gonna have an extra twin bed in the baby's room for company, for me, whatever we might need it for. we had a bedside drawer shoved into the closet, hoping to make use of that, and had one dresser that was just big enough for the change pad to sit on. i decided i needed more counter space to put the wipes and other things i may need.

before i go on, i must tell you my mom has this obsession with collecting blankets and dressers. actually her real obsession is with the blankets, but she keeps buying dressers because she runs out of places to put all those blankets we have. we could probably host a basketball team for a night and have more than enough blankets for every player, coach, assistant coach, water boy, etc.

so jesse and i sacrificed a closet. we have two in our bedroom - a walk-in and a normal regular closet. we shoved all our clothes into the walk-in and cleared out the regular closet. then, we shoved as much blankets as we could into that one so we could free up some dressers.

we also decided to shove the bed into the basement for now. Jesse's family and my brother will be here for Christmas and so we would need to clear out that bed at that point anyway to make room for the queen mattress (we also have too many extra mattresses - a spare queen and two spare twins).

so now this is how the nursery sits: the crib, the cradle (which will be in our room with us for the first few weeks), two dressers, and a wardrobe (which contains the excess blankets that we couldn't fit into the closet). we also got rid of that bedside dresser in the closet and put in a hanging organizer instead.

just a few decorative touches here and there - a shelf, some wall decorations, maybe wooden letters for her name, and a mirror - and i think we'll be ready. i hope she likes her room.

washing, washing, washing...

so yesterday i began washing all of baby's stuff. her cloth diapers (which is easy enough to take care of, i think), her clothes, her blankets, etc. i know i still have 7 weeks-ish to go, but i plan on washing everything at least three times (especially the diapers) before she arrives. her crib and cradle bedding i will leave until a bit later, so they don't get all dusty again by the time she sleeps in them.

definitely things are starting to feel more real now...

Childbirth Class (session 1)

So last night we had our first session of our childbirth classes. there were supposedly 12 couples signed up, but only 10 showed last night. short introductions including due date and how we're feeling, followed by 2 hours of learning about the signs of labor and what to expect in the first stage of labor, physically and emotionally. then for the last 5 minutes, we had to lie on the floor and listen to relaxation exercises. not very relaxing.

i would say most people were probably around our age, 25-27ish, though they sure looked older. there were about 3 women due before us, one at the end of November, two in early December. one is due a day after us and the rest were at the end of December and early January.

next class is a birth video and learning to push. sounds a bit more interesting than this one.

not to be rude, but...

other than my mom, we live quite far from any other family. my dad is 2 hours away, my brother is in toronto, my cousins are in edmonton, and jesse's family is in Richmond, BC. so we're quite isolated from familiy - but we kinda like it that way. it helps us to appreciate them more and actually enjoy spending time with them when we see them. when family come to visit us, they usually end up spending a few days here and spending the nights at our house. which is fine and we enjoy the occasional company.

however.

we had a predicament. if we lived in edmonton and close to most of my family, people could come and visit us at the hospital and then leave. LEAVE being the key word here. but since we're 3.5 hours away, if people come see us in the hospital or visit in the first few days, most likely they will need to stay at our house. don't get me wrong - i love my family. i do. BUT i really want to come home to an empty house (well, other than Reggie) and spend the first few weeks getting to know our daughter without the ruckus of kids running around or having to be hosts to visitors.

is that so unreasonable? i didn't think so.

as far as i know, jesse's parents are going to hold off on coming until around Christmas (which, if baby sticks close to her schedule, should give us a few weeks at least of getting to know baby).

and this is what i asked of my family: come see us if you want. we'd be happy to have you. but please don't plan on staying at our house. i'm sorry to be rude, but i don't want you here at my house when we come home. or we can send you pictures and will see you at baby's 100th day birthday party.

i can tell there are people who aren't too thrilled about this idea, but i'm not backing off. sorry. i'm a mom now. my baby comes first.

..and we have a name!

after months of contemplating between two names, we've finally settled on one.

and my mother was kind enough to give our daughter her middle name, which we also love.

so her name is ___________ __________ Konnert.

you'll find out when she's here!

Baby Shower/Thanksgiving

ah, another hectic weekend in Edmonton. Thankfully, it's the last one for a LONG time.

went up to cousin Susie's on Saturday. i took over some homemade perogies and cabbage rolls for our thanksgiving dinner that night. good food and mostly good company. i was surprised to see Mrs. Leskiw, a teacher from smoky lake, but it was very nice to see her and chat. after the feast, we opened gifts. of course you get asked to make a registry and no one actually buys anything off it. oh well. there was nothing that we REALLY wanted off the registry anyway. so clothes, clothes, a bath toy, a precious moments figuerine, bath support thingy, a hooded towel, more clothes, etc. definitely the best part was all the cash we got from the older folks. on sunday we took back most of the stuff we received and got other things instead. i know that may sound unappreciative, but one outfit was a duplicate, we already have 3 hooded towels, a bathtub, and bath products. i received a pack of diaper shirts which i would also like to return, but never got a gift receipt. i already have a ton of diaper shirts.

so a big thank you to everyone.

so we bought ourselves cradle bedding, which was something we really needed, an ocean aquarium thing for the crib, and a waterproof cradle mattress cover. my dad gave us money for two dozen Bumgenius 3.0s, which we went and bought yesterday (and saved $100 with our discount at bo bebe!) and a wipes warmer. oh and some receiving blankets, socks, and some sleepers.

i'm happy the shower is done and over with - now we can go nuts and buy everything we need! except looking out the window, it makes me not want to go anywhere.... what crazy weather we're having....

killer leg cramps

i don't know why suddenly i'm getting these leg cramps in the middle of the night. i was getting them everyday for like a week a few weeks back, but then i didn't have them until last night. they hurt SO bad. i woke up screaming basically and Jesse is having a heart attack beside me thinking something is terribly wrong with me/baby.

crap, they hurt. they hurt all through the next day too.

oh the joys of pregnancy, right? 2 months from today (until our due date)!

birth plan

so my doctor and i have discussed my "birth plan" at my last visit. it's simple and basically this: i would like a pain medication-free, intervention-free vaginal birth. yes. in a storybook labor and delivery, that is what i would like.

• yes, i know i have no idea what contractions feel like and may very well be screaming for an epidural.
• yes, if it came to the safety and healthy of our baby, of course necessary interventions are... well, necessary.
• yes, i know birth plans get thrown out the window when circumstances change so it's best not to get too attached to them.
• baby will receive the eye ointment and vitamin K shot - i really don't see why anyone would refuse this, but apparently a lot do.

the biggest reason for not getting an epidural is because i hate IVs. (and you're thinking, um... an epidural goes in your back) apparently IVs are mandatory when you get an epidural because of fluctuations in your blood pressure. i don't mind needles, i don't mind seeing blood, but i HATE having an IV in. it makes me crazy having this thing stuck on my arm/hand and really irks and irritates me. i can't explain it. it just does. i hate them. i don't think an epidural will make me more pleasant to deal with because IVs turn me into one very grouchy b*****.

Miss Lance Armstrong

i think that's what we'll call her. Lance.

i read that about now in a pregnancy, baby's movements resemble those of pedaling a bicycle. it helps to turn the baby head down i guess. and it really feels like she is pedaling.

well the way she's moving in here, it feels like she is doing the tour de france. go lance go!