Christmas 2010

Merry Belated Christmas! It's hard to believe it has come and gone already. I know it's only the 27th today, but we spent the morning taking down our Christmas decorations and tidying up. 

We had a wonderful, quiet, and lazy Christmas. It was our first year EVER (and maybe the only year ever) where we just celebrated the season just by ourselves. Well, my brother came down, but that barely counts. Besides, he's already gone up to Edmonton and we won't see him again for a week or so.

We opened presents on Christmas eve and Gemma was thrilled to see so many new toys! I got a giftcard to help me buy some boots (don't want to slip!) and some kitchen things, which i love getting. 

I would say the highlight (or the lowlight, rather) of this Christmas was the turkey dinner. We were originally not going to have turkey, but i decided just a few days before that i wanted it, so we bought the smallest turkey in the history of turkeys - a 7 pounder. It was a utility grade, but i felt around it to make sure it had all its legs and wings, etc. I was actually more worried that it might be missing the innards or the neck (crucial for the best gravy). To my horror, when I opened it up the day before to brine it, we saw that half of its SKIN was missing! Every other part was there, but half of it's SKIN was missing! I got into a pessimistic mode right away. This pretty much guaranteed a dry turkey. Good thing we weren't expecting company. 

Well, the turkey turned out okay. I think the brine must have saved it. However, it took forever to cook it, which was so surprising. Usually I make a turkey double this size, at about 15 lbs. I think it took just as long to cook this one! They say a stuffed turkey needs to cook about 16 minutes per pound, but when I took it out 2 hours later, it was still raw at the legs! I was totally not expecting that and the table was set and everything was ready, but we had to wait another hour for the stupid turkey to finish cooking. On top of that, i burned myself four times and now have wonderful tiger stripes along my forearm. And it gets better - when we finally all sat down to eat, i spilled the punch all over my homemade buns, ruining half of them!

But the mashed potatoes were the best I've had, the gravy (a new recipe) was delicious, and my usual go-to stuffing recipe didn't let me down. Gemma really enjoyed the dinner and ate everything as long as the stuffing was a part of it. The salad didn't get too wilty even though it was sitting in its dressing for an hour. Jesse actually commented that he liked this turkey better than any other turkey i've ever made as this one was drier and my turkeys are usually "too moist" for his taste. what a weirdo. 

All in all, it was a Christmas I'll never forget. And while we enjoyed the quiet and comfort of being just our family,  i have to admit that i miss the hustle, the bustle, and my crazy, but fun family. I can't wait to see everyone this weekend. 

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas with your loved ones.

Picky Eater

I don't know what's gotten into Gemma lately, but it's been a battle every mealtime to try to get her to eat. No matter what it is, her initial reaction is to spit it back out. She doesn’t like some of her favorite foods anymore and while she might have really enjoyed something one day, the next day she will refuse to eat it.

I use to brag about what a good eater she was, that she would eat anything and everything and eat until her belly looked about ready to burst.

She used to be so focused when she would get her milk. She wouldn't dare move until her entire bottle was gone. Now, she drinks about half of what she has and then just chews on the spout, flings the cup around, and just loses interest. Is this just a phase she'll get past or is this her new thing?

First Prenatal Visit

I went to High River today for my first appointment there. As soon as I got there, Dr. Makhdoom saw me (the doc who delivered Gemma) and burst out laughing, saying "you're back! I can't believe it!" She is such a cool doctor, I just love her. She did the history taking, took my blood pressure, and just felt around for the uterus, which was still too small for her to palpate. We talked about dates and going by my last period, the due date is July 21 (which would make me 10 weeks) which I know is not accurate. I know exactly when I ovulated and so I know the due date should be July 30. Anyways, I am booked for a "dating" ultrasound in the new year, so hopefully that will show it. Even when she was trying to feel my uterus, she said I must be less than 10 weeks, which I'm sure is right. I'm right now 8.5 weeks.

She sent me for blood work and now I go back in 4 weeks, 2 weeks after my ultrasound. I can't wait to see this little one - though it won't look like much, just a blob. Still, I'm excited.

1-year Vaccinations

I think they should change the way they do these vaccinations. It's brutal! Even for an adult, getting 3 shots all at once is scary. Gemma had four, including her flu shot booster. She cried for so long after her needles and had a rough early morning. She was crying on and off throughout the night and finally was really wailing, so I went in and rocked her for a bit. She was so warm, I think she maybe had a fever. After rocking her for a little bit, I started getting super hot because she was so warm, so I got up to open her door and that kinda woke her up. she resumed the wailing screams and then wouldn't stop for nearly 20 minutes. She refused milk, which she NEVER EVER does, and went from person to person, crying and crying some more. I felt terrible.

she is so tired that she has been napping for an hour already (and it's 11 AM). I gave her some Tylenol and hope that helps a bit.

My husband the Journeyman

well it's been a long 4 years. basically another degree, right? but Jesse completed his plumbing apprenticeship and he is now officially a journeyman plumber (as long as he passed his exams, but i don't think we need to worry about that). I am so proud of him. I know it was never the job of his dreams, but he stuck it out and finished it. and he didn't just half-ass his technical training either. Every year, he came out with really awesome marks, near the top of his class. 

All the time, work, and patience has finally paid off. Good job, Bunny! Gemma and I are so proud of you!

All by herself!

It's only 8:22 AM, but already this morning Gemma did something new! She stood up all on her own, not holding on to anything! Then she walked over to me.

I would say she is pretty much walking, but she is still kinda inconsistent. She can sometimes walk the length of our entire livingroom and into the kitchen, but then sometimes she can only take a couple steps and then she falls on her butt. Everyday, though, it seems like her "max" gets longer and longer and while she is still somewhat unsteady, she is much more steady than she was even say a week ago. She also now likes to walk everywhere, from toy to toy, from person to person. Up until now, it was only if she was already standing, but now that she can stand up on her own, maybe she'll choose to get up and walk instead of crawling!

sick, then not, then sick

Two days ago was a good day. I was feeling better. I didn't throw up the entire day!

Yesterday is another story. I felt probably the worst I've ever felt (pregnancy-related I mean). I was also in a daze all day from feeling so tired.

It's weird. I don't have any aversions to anything specific, but I just don't want to eat. I skipped supper last night, which my mom spent all day preparing (and so I felt terrible). Then of course I get a hankering for fettuccini alfredo (and I make THE best fettuccini alfredo), so I was going to get Jesse to go buy some cream and then make some, but then mom suggests it's better not to cook it myself because I might not want it after I cook it. which is often true. So Jesse ran to boston pizza to pick one up for me. Not very good of course, but whatever. oh and then I threw up afterwards.

This morning I feel better. I'm less tired and not so nauseous. I haven't thrown up yet and not feeling so sluggish. But i do crave a donair from our favorite place and so Jesse is going to pick one up for me on his way home from school. Mmmm... Can't wait.

7 weeks

Ugh. I am so sick right now. Pregnancy is so weird.

Smells don't bother me as much as they did with Gemma around this time. In fact, there isn't anything that makes me feel real sick just by the smell. But everytime I eat, I feel really sick - like there is just food stuck in my stomach that won't move and it just wants to come back up. So far since yesterday morning I've thrown up with every meal or anything I eat. The vomiting wasn't this bad with Gemma. I don't really want to eat, but it's way better to throw up food than just stomach acid.

That and I have no energy. Like NONE. I could sleep probably all day and night if I was allowed to.

Last night I dreamt that I was at my ultrasound and I was having twins. I started to cry and was so upset. That reflects how I really feel about having twins - if Gemma would've been a twin, that would've been fine, but I don't want my second child(ren) to be twins. I would feel terrible for Gemma. I'm scare that everything would then be "about the twins".

I'm sure there is only one in here right now though.

Anyways, I better drag my butt back to work. Ugh - 2 more weeks and then a nice long break!

1 year old

I spent this entire weekend looking at the clock and trying to remember what was going on at that exact moment last year. Boy, my labor sure was long! Weirdly, even though I was in so much pain, time went so fast while I was in labor, even though I dilated so slowly. I guess it must be a trick of the brain to help you cope.

Gemma is ONE. I took her for her 1-year appointment yesterday. She weighed 22 pounds (yay, forward facing, here we come!) and was 73 cm long (though I always take the length measurement with a grain of salt). She was tired and screamed as soon as we stepped into the room. I could hardly hear what the doctor was saying the entire time.

We ran out of formula yesterday morning, perfect timing, so we are now fully on homo milk! Luckily Gemma loves the taste of milk and isn't picky at all about the temperature of it.

She can say the following (and know their meaning or what the words represent, not just blabbing random words): umma (mom), appa (dad), shi-gae (clock), bba-bba (food), bba-bbang (like a car honking noise - this is what she calls "car" and is the sound she makes when she pushes any car around), ga-ja (let's go), mool (water), moo (radish), oo-you (milk, though this one is not as clear), kka-kka (snack), chek (book), and kkot (flower - again, this one is not as clear), and.... Diaper!

She can't say these words, but know what they represent/mean: oree (duck), Minnie (Minnie Mouse), Daisy (Daisy Duck), toki (rabbit), nabi (butterfly), Reggie, harmony, bar (foot), sohn (hand), gui (ear), ko (nose), ja-ja (let's go to sleep), bath time, no, bbo-bbo (kiss), jjak-jjak (clap), gon-jee (poke the palm of one hand with the index finger of the other hand), jem-jem (open and close the hands), dori-dori (shake head from side to side).

she is walking more and more on her own (from standing at the couch to come to me, or from toy to toy), though she still prefers to crawl. she is definitely more steady too and can take slower steps.

She is also talking more and more and tries to mimic what we say.

I don't mean to brag, but sometimes I can't help it... she is just so stinkin smart (must get it from her mother, LOL).

Happy birthday to my little darling. Mommy and Daddy love you to bits and couldn't be more proud of you.

Dol

Wow, what a party. 

Yesterday, Jesse, Gemma, and I celebrated her birthday with 47 guests. I was so frazzled in many ways because I wanted to keep things moving as I knew there were babies who were getting cranky and people who were getting hungry, but all in all, i think things went well. The biggest surprise of all was how well Gemma did even with only a half hour nap in the morning. 

After we ate, we changed Gemma into her hanbok and did the doljabi - which is where the baby picks an item amongst a few items laid in front of her, each with a different meaning for her future. We had rice (health), notebook and pencil (brains), yarn (long life), and money (wealth). Gemma didn't hesitate. She went right for the pencil. She's gonna be a genius (but I already knew that, she's so smart even now)!!!

Gemma was showered with gifts and we sang happy birthday, she got to taste her first real sweet (a carrot cupcake). Lots and Lots of pictures and hugs and visits later, we all went home. 

She slept like a rock in the car and didn't wake up when my mom picked her up out of the car. She just laid her in her crib and Gemma kept on sleeping. I finally had to wake her up 2 hours later. 

Boy, did she ever love the attention of family and friends. She is very blessed and loved and I hope she always "remembers" this day through the photos and cards. 

Thank you everyone for making this such a special day for our little family. What a party.

#2 Update

This pregnancy is starting to hit me. I am so bloated, it's crazy. My pants are so tight and it's hard to breathe at times. I don't remember being this bloated with Gemma - not this early anyway. But this has been going on for over a week already.

Today, I'm feeling tired. My mom has been so gracious and letting me sleep in the morning if Gemma wakes up earlier than usual. I don't know what I would do without her, really.

Smells are becoming an issue also. This weekend I was at Michaels and was so bothered by the smell, I had a huge headache by the time we left. We've been at Michaels like on a weekly basis for the past 2 months and I never had this problem until Sunday.

I also noticed my appetite is changing. Maybe it's because I'm so bloated and not feeling hungry, but I don't want to eat a lot of the time. I'm not nauseous or anything yet and am not having cravings yet either, but I definitely have a different outlook towards food right now.

What a Baby...

Gemma is feeling much better now. She is back to her old self. Her drooling has subsided and she is no longer crying out at night. The only thing is her runny nose is turning into more of a stuffy nose as the snot hardens up, so she is having a hard time breathing while drinking, eating, etc.

But she sure got used to being really babied in the last few days. I can't help but baby her when she is feeling under the weather, so I rocked her to sleep, I cuddled her lots, I let her do what she wanted and eat what she wanted.

Already this morning she had two big fits over me not letting her do what she wanted (like play with my keyboard and mouse while I'm trying to work). She whines a lot and makes a pouty face over everything, thinking that might change our minds.... and of course daddy falls of all of her little faces, but mommy - mommy knows. and it's not as easy with mommy... LOL.

Perfect

that is the word i will use to describe this evening. 

The day didn't start out that way. In fact, we had a semi-rough night last night with Gemma frequently crying out from her sleep. The first time was around 10:30 PM. I was hoping she would just fall back asleep, so i ignored her for a little while. She kept crying out, however - and not like a screaming cry, not a sobbing cry, and not a "i need you right this instant" kind of cry. It was more like a low moany cry, but she kept on instead of falling back asleep. When I went into her room, I expected her to be sitting up or standing holding on to the crib rail. Instead, she was on her side - sleeping, but still moaning and crying. So i don't know if she was just having a sad dream or what. I left and went back to bed (but couldn't fall back asleep), but Gemma kept moaning on and off. 

A little while later, I went back in because she was still crying out. She was on her back, on top of my robe (which she sleeps with). So I took the robe out from under her and put it over her. Then she seemed to quieten down right away and so I just went back to sleep. 

That's why I say it was only semi-rough;

Poor thing is getting her bottom lateral incisors in and has been drooling nonstop and has a really runny and stuffed nose. She's been a trooper though and all I can do is be there for her when she needs me. 

So on to this evening.

She's been a little apprehensive about her baths again the last few days, so tonight i decided to go in with her. At first she wasn't sure, but then she really started to have fun and began splashing around like she does at the swimming pool. After nearly half an hour of nonstop splashing, she was not happy when we pulled her out of there. Just sitting there with her and watching her have fun - it was so nice. It felt nice to also know that I was helping her with her bathtime anxiety. 

Then she got her bottle of formula. I turned off the lights and sat in the glider and rocked as she drank, singing the lulluby my mom used to sing for me. When she finished her bottle, she gave it to me, then looked at me with sleepy eyes as I sang and rocked her. It's weird, but I could feel the comfort i was giving her. I haven't rocked her to sleep in so long and even now just thinking about it, i feel like i'm going to cry (though it may be the hormones)... 

I am so incredibly in love with Gemma, I can't even describe it. My heart overflows with love for her. As indepdent as she is, it sure feels nice to know how much she still needs me...

Number Two

I'm pregnant. It happened faster than I had anticipated. I only got one period after weaning Gemma and then ...boom. I think when we decided to start trying, we were aiming for late August/early September and were thinking that because Gemma took 2 months to conceive, this one would be similar. This little one is due July 30, 2011.

I knew my cycle this time around would be irregular as it's my first period in 19 months. So as much as we were "trying", I didn't expect it to happen. But I felt real crampy 3 weeks in and that's what got me to do a test with Gemma, so I kinda wondered. But I had two negative pregnancy tests in a span of a week, so I thought maybe not. Then a week later, I was sitting at my work desk when I looked over and saw a pile of Kleenex i had blown my nose into. For some reason, that made me think I might be pregnant - I had a super runny/stuffed nose throughout my entire pregnancy with Gemma - and so I did a test. The line was super duper faint, like a trick on the eye. I told Jesse I might be and that I would repeat it the next day.

Then we got hit by a huge snowstorm and I didn't get a chance to get out of the house, so it was a few days before Jesse finally picked one up for me on his way home. It was positive, a much more definite line this time.

When we told my mom right away, she didn't believe us. She just kept asking, "are you serious? are you joking? is this real?" and then finally when we convinced her, she said "ugh, i'm so tired!". LOL. I know that doesn't sound like a very nice reaction, but Gemma was super duper clingy  and so my mom had been holding her pretty well the entire day. She of course is happy for us and is glad we're having two close together because she felt so sorry for my brother (who is 6 years older than me) after I was born as he became very neglected thanks to his very colicky baby sister.

At first, I didn't know how to feel. We were always so wishy-washy about having another baby. Gemma is so perfect to us in every way and we were truthfully afraid of taking attention away from her, afraid of comparing the next baby to Gemma in every way, and we never felt our family was incomplete with just one. We knew it would be nice for Gemma to have a sibling in the long run, but we also felt it wasn't fair to the new baby to just have it for Gemma's sake. We were seriously more than content to be a family of 3 (4 including my mom, 5 including my dog, LOL). Then we thought back to how we felt before we got pregnant with Gemma and all the fears of having a baby and how that was to affect our lives. We were so content to be just to the two of us forever and weren't even sure we wanted to disrupt our twosome. But look at us now... We couldn't be happier with Gemma and can't even begin to imagine not having her in our lives. So this anxiety about baby #2 would be the same - just being afraid of the unknown....

I don't know if the novelty wears off with the second baby or if it's just us because we had all these fears about #2, but the first week after finding out has been a weird one. We both would constantly forget that I'm pregnant. With Gemma I felt like I was always going to blurt it out to everyone, but with #2 it hardly crosses our minds. Isn't that weird? It just wouldn't sink in.

Yesterday I had my first doctor's appointment. I don't know if I just HAD to hear it from a medical professional or what, but after the appointment, I got so excited. I am already booked in at High River to be seen next month and have my 18-week ultrasound requisition. It's like a switch just clicked in my brain and it hit me....I'm having a baby!!!

We're definitely going to find out if it's a boy or girl. I just can't handle the suspense. Before we got pregnant, i always said it HAD to be a girl - I refuse to have a boy! (like I have any control over that whatsoever, LOL) but now, it doesn't matter. as long as he/she is healthy and happy. I can't wait to present to Gemma her new baby sibling. I can't wait to see them playing together, fighting together, blaming each other, saying "I love you" to each other, etc.

I'm pumped.

step by step

it was only about 3 weeks ago that i wrote about Gemma being able to stand for 3 seconds. It's unbelievable how much she changes and how quickly she learns things in such a short period of time. Shortly after she learned to stand very briefly on her own, she took a couple steps towards me. Yesterday, we had a record of 7 steps. She can also walk really well now holding just one of my hands. she still can't stand herself up from a sitting position or anything, but she definitely lets go more when she is standing and playing on her own.

i know it can be months still until she can really walk on her own, but i love seeing all her little progress. I'm so proud!

Party Anxiety????

I don't know why, but i've been having some major bad dreams about Gemma's Dol going all wrong. One night i dreamt there was not enough food and everyone was mad that they had to come all the way here and didn't even get fed properly. Then i dreamt that half the people didn't show up, but people i didn't invite came and it was very weird. Then i dreamt that one of the guests wasn't happy with what was being served, so he changed the menu for everyone! Oy Vay! Can you tell i'm really anxious about the party??? I think planning my wedding was less stressful!

In reality, i think the only thing i have to worry about is the weather and the road conditions. i hope this snow stops at least by Dec 1 and that we have chinooks galore on Gemma's Dol weekend.

That's Better

Phew, last night was back to normal. While she did cry out a couple times, she just put herself back to sleep and we didn't need to worry about going into her room. I was so exhausted last night that I went to bed at 7:30, just a little bit after Gemma went down. It feels nice to get a 11-hour stretch of sleep.

What a Night!

I think that was actually the worst night we've EVER had with Gemma. It was awful. We're all walking around like zombies today.

First of all, day 1 of one nap per day went really well. I mean, she was dead tired by 7 PM, but still managed to sleep until 7 AM, so figured that was what she needed. It was a success.

Day 2, however, not the same. Yesterday, gemma was extremely cranky the ENTIRE day. always whining no matter what she was doing - eating, playing, being read to, cuddling, etc. Yet she only napped for an hour and a half. By 7 PM, she was completely exhausted and went down like a light.

Starting at about 11 PM, she kept waking up. Instead of falling back to sleep, she would start screaming louder, so I went in to help her back to sleep. But each time I turned to leave, she would start screaming agian and not go back to sleep. After about an hour of that, I finally just picked her up and rocked this 22-pounder for an HOUR. It's like she was suspicious that I would leave in the midst of rocking her, so she would close her eyes, but then open them again almost in a panic just to make sure i was there still holding her. I put her down after an hour and she fell asleep.

Twenty minutes later, back to screaming. I decided to do something i NEVER do and bring her into our bed with us. She's not used to such a thing and had a hard time getting comfortable. She would sit up and cry, roll this way and that way, sit up again and cry, etc. It was awful.

Finally she managed to just pass out and the three of us got about 2 hours of sleep. Just after 5 AM, she is back to crying, so I just took her over to the bonus room and laid down beside her. She cuddled with Minnie and was rolling all over the place, sometimes looking like she might fall asleep, but she never did. At close to 6 my mom came and got her and gave her some formula. She told me to get some sleep, so I slept for an hour before starting work.

Right now it's 8 AM and Gemma passed out while my mom was giving her a piggyback about 20 minutes ago. My mom's back in bed as well.

One nap + flu shot + teething = horrible night and I have learned my lesson.

Grandpa will be so disappointed

Gemma hates salmon. All the other fish are okay, but she doesn't like salmon.

yesterday, we had grilled salmon with hollandaise for supper - sockeye salmon that grandpa Konnert brought when he came to visit in August. She doesn't usually have such strong responses to food - and even if she hates what she is eating, she will whine, but will still swallow it. But with the salmon, she was spitting it out and even digging it out of her mouth with her fingers. She was so mad that I was making her eat it.

I was ready to give in and microwave some of her chicken soup that i had made and froze, but my mom decided to open a can of mackerel instead. I was totally like "okay mom, she's not going to eat that. she won't eat salmon, then she definitely won't eat that (it's canned and so has a stronger smell/taste than fresh fish)". My mom says "i know, but i just want to try". And guess what. This kid gobbled it up. In fact, she was kicking her feet and asking for more.

we Koreans sure love our makerel, but i think grandpa will be disappointed that his only granddaughter doesn't share his love for salmon... LOL...

Squeakers

We were at Costco a few days ago and there was a traveling vendor there selling baby/toddler shoes... like knockoff Robeez (but probably just as expensive, WTH?). They also had sqeaky shoes and I was looking for dress shoes for Gemma anyway, so I picked up a pair of black Mary Jane squeakers.

Gemma finds them fascinating! if i put them on her and she is standing up (holding on to me, of course), she "tap dances" and laughs. So cute!

bye bye bottle!

We've been working on weaning off the bottle these past 3 days. As her first birthday approaches at lightening speed (yipes!!), I want her off the bottle by then. Luckily, Gemma doesn't care too much where her milk comes from as long as she gets some (and this has been a huge blessing since the day she was born, as I know some babies will NOT take bottles from certain people or take milk in a cup, etc). Right now, I still give her formula in a bottle at night, but in the morning and afternoon, she gets it in a cup or in a cup with a straw. So here's hoping that in 3 weeks, she will be bottle-free!

only one?

The last week or so, Gemma's naps have been quite short. She has also been waking up slightly earlier than normal, so we decided to try an experiment today. Normally, I make her sleep 3 hours after she wakes up in the morning and she naps about 1.5 hours. Then, around 2, she naps again for about 1.5 hours. If she's extra tired, she sometimes sleeps close to 2 hours or more. So with the total nap time being 2 hours or less this last week, I wondered whether she was ready to go down to just one nap a day. Today, instead of making her nap 3 hours after waking up, I let her play for as long as she wanted and she only just started to slow down after 5 hours. She got quieter as she played and a little less mobile, which made me think she must be tired. So I gave her some formula and some banana and now she is out like a light. I wonder how long she will sleep for? If she sleeps for 2 hours or more, then I think this just might become our new routine. If she wakes up in an hour or less, then maybe I'll try to persist with two naps for now. I'll keep you posted.

Dol update

55 guests confirmed! only 5 people said they couldn't make it. Most of the guests are coming from Edmonton too. Gemma is so lucky to be so loved that people will travel 3 1/2 hours to come to her birthday party!! 

Please pray that the weather will be nice and the highways will be nice and dry...

No, Let Me...

I can't believe how independent my little girl is. She really likes to do things on her own. Yesterday during supper, she really wanted to feed herself with the spoon and wouldn't let me feed her. So finally I gave in and gave her the spoon and she ate her whole meal that way. Of course, i had to help her a little - tilt the bowl so that when she dipped her spoon in, some food would go into the spoon...

Going Down!

As of this morning, Gemma can go down the stairs! We have a baby gate at the top of the stairs, but it's one of those where you push down in the middle and stays put due to tension. Well, Gemma is always trying to climb it or hitting it and so we just don't put it up (what if she leans on it too much and it falls down the stairs, taking Gemma with it?).

Ever since she could climb UP, we've been trying to teach her how to climb DOWN. When we would put her facing up the stairs and try to get her to climb down backwards, she would just think we're trying to get her to climb UP and then climb UP! But last night, the gears in her head were turning and she figured out that we were trying to get her to climb down. After a couple practice rounds, we headed off to bed.

This morning, she could climb down most of the stairs by herself! (of course i was right there behind her to catch her, however). I am so proud!

Minnie & Daisy

About a month or so ago, we were at the mall and my mom took Gemma to the Disney Store. She immediately took a liking to a plush Minnie and so my mom, being the grandma that she is with no restraint whatsoever, bought the Minnie for her. It was a 2 for something deal, so she also got a Daisy Duck plush.

Well, as soon as my mom paid for them and gave them to Gemma, she's loved them ever since. When she sees them on the floor, she rolls all around, smothering them, "kissing" them (more like biting off Minnie's nose), and just lights up if she sees them after not seeing them for awhile. 

She has other stuffed animals and plush dolls, but Minnie and Daisy are her favorites.

Tick Tock

Other than "umma" (mom), "bbabba" (food), "appa" (dad), Gemma can say "shi-gae" (clock). She knows what it is and will look at the clock on the wall (or else look for one on a wall if she doesn't see one nearby). 

Probably not one of the more typical first words, but hey, we'll take it.

Stress

I'm sorry to vent, but I had to do it somewhere.

These last few weeks, i've been feeling overwhelmingly stressed. Last night, i finally had a mini mental breakdown. I didn't realize how stressed i was until I started talking it out.

Work. I am so incredibly lucky to have this job. It lets me work from home, I can see Gemma whenever I want, and I have a flexible schedule of just having to work 7 hours in a 12-hour period. I also really enjoy the work I do; it really is my cup of tea. And while i really can and do see Gemma whenever I want, the fact that I have to sit here and work is really bothering me. Stupid, I know.... but now it's really starting to affect my productivity (i've gone from the 3rd most productive to now the 7th - out of 37)...

Family (extended). I feel like for some reason I need to tiptoe so much around some of my extended family. I have some vocal relatives (who i love to death) that don't seem to really understand my decisions for my family and instead gets or may get offended by my decisions. I don't want any hurt feelings and I don't want any fights, but I also want to do what i think is best for my immediate family... is that so wrong?

Family (immediate). I have some guilt about my mom watching Gemma. I feel like my mom's already raised her own kids and now she should just be able to be "grandma". I feel bad that I have to work and that she has to watch Gemma. I can't express enough, however, how grateful I am to have her here. My problem here is that I am stressed about the possibility of making my mom stressed. I hate seeing my mom stressed. But so far, she says she is fine and seems that way...

Money. I've only gotten one paycheck since returning to work and Jesse is now on EI as he is at school. Christmas and Gemma's party are coming up in the next 2 months and while we prepared for those, i still feel overwhelmed. On top of it all, my HR lady/my department manager told me i didn't have to contact EI after coming back to work and now I owe the government $1400 in EI overpayment. Awesome.

Friends. I don't think i was meant to have friends. Close friends, anyway. All my life I've been the third wheel of two best friends and i hate it. I feel like this is going to happen again and I want to just not bother with friendships anymore. I also don't know how to balance friendships - i put too much of myself into some and i don't put enough of myself into others...

Some of this sounds so petty, right? I know there are bigger problems in the world... suck it up... suck it up...

a Pirate and his Parrot

Hope you had a great Halloween!

Playing

Yesterday, we enjoyed a short visit with Maeve (Gemma's BFF) and Brandon. It had been awhile since Gemma had seen Maeve (who is just 10 days younger). We saw Brandon a few weeks back, but Brandon is 4 months younger than the girls and not quite as mobile. 

It was so cute to see Gemma and Maeve actually playing together. As Paige described it, they were like puppies, crawling together and crawling over everything in sight. They were "talking" to one another, touching one another, "sharing" and not sharing toys with one another, and Maeve would frown when Gemma would start crying.

It's so neat to see them growing into little girls, really interacting with one another. It won't be long before they are running around, wreaking havoc together all around the house, I'm sure.

Stand Up!

Gemma and I have been practicing standing up on her own for awhile now. I would sit on the floor with her in front of me and try to get her to stand. She usually just falls forward and I catch her and she laughs.

We hadn't done it for a few days, so I was pleasantly surprised when last night she could stand for like 3 seconds on her own! she even tried to take a step towards me a few times! I know, 3 seconds, big deal, right? but it IS a big deal!

I still don't think she will be walking by her first birthday by any means, but it's so neat to see her get closer to it. She still loves to walk all over the house with her little car walker thing. My mom always says "bba-bbang" to mimick the sound of a horn and now Gemma walks around yelling "bba-bbang!".

so cute.

Tummy Troubles? Part Deux

So I had an appointment booked for Monday to take Gemma in to see our family doctor (remember I called last Monday?) ... I called this morning again just to see if they could put me on a cancellation list because her poops were getting more and more frequent and also more and more undigested. Although the receptionist told me she would call if they had a cancellation, I was skeptical that we would get seen and so I got ready to go to Urgent Care.

As I was grabbing the diaper bag to go out, the phone rang and it was the doctor's office. She told us to come as soon as possible and we headed out the door that second.

So here is the thing... Gemma had eight poops in the last 24 hours. All kinds of foodstuffs were coming out undigested, including whole peas, whole beans, whole raisins, whole oatmeal, etc. Even the color wasn't changing to brown. Even cereal came out looking like cereal. Yet, she never cried or whined in pain, never reacted to me touching her belly, was still sleeping well (during the day and night), and was happy and energetic. She was a bit clingy this morning, but that was about it for other "symptoms"...

So after I told the doctor all of this, he thought it was most likely just teething symptoms, even though it seemed a bit severe that she was pooping eight times in 24 hours. She has no other symptoms of a viral illness and is cutting two teeth right now. I guess she does have different symptoms with each tooth and the diarrhea is just what these teeth decided to bring.

her last poop today was definitely better - even with the undigested food, it was much more solid. I hope this means we're on the road to normalcy.

Tummy Troubles?

For the last week or so, Gemma has been having poops that have been on the softer side. It gradually got a bit runnier and she has been pooping a lot more frequently, like 4-5 times a day. Sometimes it's a full diaper, sometimes it's just a little bit. The food she eats comes out almost exactly the way it went in. I would say she probably has diarrhea. When the poops are more liquidy, she gets a really bad diaper rash that oddly seems to clear up again in no time, only to come back with the next liquidy poop.

At first, when her poops were soft, I figured it was just teething. She was crabby and very moody with tons of whining, always chewing on her fingers. Now, I'm not so sure. The thing is, she isn't acting sick or feeling sick or anything like that. She has no fever, she doesn't seem to cry in pain, she is sleeping very well at night and napping well, she still wants to eat all the time, etc.

When i weighed her on the home scale yesterday, she was an even 20 lb. In over a month, she hasn't gained a full pound. I don't know if that's because I weaned her off or it's because she's been pooping like crazy. I think actually this rate of weight gain is kind of normal and i think i might just be paranoid because she isn't gaining weight as quickly as she once did.

I tried to make a doctor's appointment, but they can't see me for a week (next Monday). She doesn't seem sick enough to take her into urgent care. I've been avoiding fruits and veggies for the last day or so and just giving her cereal and banana, as well as crackers and cheerios for snacks. We had also switched her formula about a few weeks ago from Goodstart to Kirkland. Even though she had a can and a half of Kirkland already and i doubt that's the cause for her messey bowel movements, we decided to try Goodstart again (and it was on sale!).

Does anyone have any pointers on getting through this? She hasn't pooped yet today (though it's only 7 AM) and so i don't know if all the changes i made yesterday are working yet. I'll keep you posted.

*** update***

so I called Health Link just to see if there is anything I can do to improve Gemma's situation. One interesting thing she told me is to avoid high fiber foods - I was thinking high fiber would be good in this situation because it would provide some bulk, but apparently not. She told me to give her yogurt with active cultures and things like white rice, white bread, white pasta, etc. No raw fruits or veggies. Ripe bananas and apple sauce are good also. Also, I need to keep up the formula. She said Gemma should be seen by a doctor within 3 days from now, but that won't be happening. our doctor, for some reason, has cut down his hours to half days only and it's hard to get into see him now. Well, I hope her recommendations work!

to Aunt or not to Aunt

When I was growing up, every woman friend of my parents was an "aunt" and every man friend was an "uncle". I was always taught that it is rude to call a grown-up by their first name and this idea is still engrained in my brain. If they're not an "aunt" or "uncle", they are definitely Mrs. or Mr. In Korean, there are actually words that specifically mean "lady/aunt" and "man/uncle" for these situations, so one never had to think about what to call them.

I know this idea may sound old fashioned, but I want Gemma to do the same as I did growing up. I want her to call friends of ours "aunts" and "uncles" and everyone else should be "Mr." or "Mrs."

But my problem is this: I know not everyone feels this way and some people aren't comfortable being called "auntie" or "uncle" by someone who is not actually their niece/nephew. And while this is what I want for Gemma, I don't expect my friends' children to call me "auntie" back... though if they did, I certainly wouldn't mind it.

so what do you do/will you do with your children? If you're a friend of mine who is reading this, is it okay that Gemma calls you "auntie *insert name here*"? Does this have to be discussed amongst the adults before the kids just start calling them "auntie" or "uncle"? How close do you have to be before the kids can call you "aunt" or "uncle"? ....What do people do?

Straws, Snot, Steps

Gemma can drink through a straw (though i'm not sure since when exactly).

She can also blow her nose. I'm really proud of this one and am so happy about it, because i hate terrorizing her with the nosesuckers. I have to get someone to hold her arms back while holding her head steady and then she screams and i end up poking her in the eye or something. smart girl decided she had enough and learned to blow her nose when i ask her. Although it's not strong enough to get rid of the more solid boogers, it does the trick when she has a runny nose.

She is getting braver and will now take a few steps while holding on to my hand with one hand. She can stand on her own for just a few seconds before she falls on her bum.

Rash, be gone!

Since she was born, Gemma was lucky to not get diaper rashes. She has of course had a few bouts of just a little bit of redness around her bum, but not a rash per se. I don't know if it's this bout of teething or what, but she's got a bit of a diaper rash, the worst she's ever had. I say it's the worst for her, but it's not as THAT bad (i've seen worse on other babies). I try to give her plenty of diaper-free time during the day (resulting in many accidents - number one AND two!), but it seems to be pretty persistent. i am using our trusty old Aveeno diaper cream and all day today i've been using our cloth diapers.

I know Pampers has that issue with their Dry-Max giving chemical burns and while we do use Pampers, i bought out Walmart's supply of pre-Dry-Max diapers before they took them off the shelf. anyways, she didn't have this problem until just a couple days ago.

I'm really hoping it goes away soon. in the meantime, i guess i need to be better prepared with old towels and carpet cleaner!

10 months

I know this is rather late, but since i'm on the computer all day at work, i find it hard to go on it to blog when i'm not working... 

weight: don't know for sure, but according to the home scale, she was still 19.5 lb.

height: i don't know why, but one day i just noticed she seemed so much taller! she is like a little person now. 

• she loves to push her walker and walk all over the house. 
• she is much friendlier and is much quicker to warm up to strangers. 
• she loves to empty things - laundry basket, dishwasher, washing machine, dryer, toy basket, etc. she will stand there, grab something, look at it, and then throw it over the shoulder. she can do this for a long, long time as long as i keep refilling the container.
• her favorite show is In the Night Garden. I have no clue why, but she is mesmerized by this show. 
• she is chatting more and more, especially when it's bed time. it's like she needs to tell me about her entire day as i try to put her down. 
• she has 5 teeth and is working on #6. 
• she loves to flip backwards and hang upside down when someone's holding her. you always have to be on guard. 
• she is fully weaned and drinks 22-24 oz of formula a day.

not even 2 months until her big party! i can't wait!

Can't Wait!

We tried on Gemma's hanbok (korean dress) today to see how it fits. I nearly broke out into tears when i saw her all dolled up! She was the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. Wait til you see her!

i'm gonna be a puddle when i see her in her wedding dress...

First Haircut!

I couldn't deal with Gemma's scraggly mullet any longer, so I chopped it off! now it looks like she has a chic bob (that is still out of control).

Give Thanks

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. Gemma's grandpa and grandma Konnert, as well as auntie Leah and uncle Joey came down for a short visit. We had a delicious turkey dinner, finishing off with a pumpkin pie and pecan pie. Gemma had her first thanksgiving dinner complete with turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and roasted veggies. She slept so well that night :)

I am so thankful for many things this year. I think being a parent really puts things into perspective. I am so thankful for my family, for our good mental and physical health, for the jobs we enjoy, and for new and old friends. I'm thankful for the fact that I can work from home and see my daughter whenever I want. I am thankful to have my mom with us and to always have peace of mind, knowing Gemma is well-cared for and loved even when I'm not around. I'm thankful that Jesse has a job that is so close to home that allows him to see his baby girl every single day. God is so gracious to us. He really is.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend with family and friends. Happy Thanksgiving!

First Night Away

Boy, have things ever been busy. Last weekend, Jesse and I took a trip out to Smoky Lake, where I grew up, for a friend's wedding. I haven't been out there in probably 6years or so and before that was only there once or twice since graduating in 2002. Anyhoo, we decided to leave Gemma behind with my mom as it is quite a long drive and I didn't want to spoil Gemma's wonderful routine.

I began to cry about 10 minutes before leaving and cried for nearly an hour in the car. I didn't think it would be so hard for me to leave Gemma, but I was completely overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and fear that she would somehow forget me when I returned. I know, doesn't make sense, but I couldn't help but to think these things.

The entire weekend I called my mom every few hours to make sure everything was okay and just to hear Gemma's voice. I don't know why, but when she isn't with me, sometimes it feels like she isn't real - like I made her up or something. I don't know how to explain it...

Anyways, I returned home to find her sleeping. I can't tell you how much I wanted to wake her up and give her a hug, but I had to restrain myself. She had a ball with harmony as always and I am not sure if she even realized I had gone away and come back... This trip just confirmed how much I suffer from separation anxiety, NOT Gemma! LOL...

Photographer Dilemma (again)

you may already know that i'm having some issues deciding between two photographers. here is the lo-down.

Sam: 

pictures look great.

is charging us $400 for the dol, $50/h for a portrait/family shoot beforehand.

at first i wasn't sure about her personality through the emails, but the more i talk to her, the better. and she seems to really want the job of shooting the dol.

Carla:

pictures also look great.

is charging us $250 for the dol, $150 for 90 minutes for a portrait shoot beforehand. because the weather was nice, she offered us a small shoot for $50 of just Gemma, which we took advantage of on sunday. she seems nice, but a little hurried (maybe because she had a client right after us). 

i know what you're thinking... the obvious choice is Carla, right? but a part of me still prefers Sam's pictures just a teeny tiny bit more and i want to meet her/see what she is like, not to mention see the pictures she takes of Gemma. The thing is, she is only offering us the portrait session at $50/h if we hire her to do the dol (otherwise, it would be $190/h). 

but i can't do 2 more shoots before the dol or else i'd be out $200, $200 that i could spend towards the day itself. besides, what if we do the portraits with Sam and decide we don't like her? then that would cost us $190!

oh boy oh boy... why is this so hard? what would you do???  it's like i know the easy solution would be to go with Carla, but i am just so curious about what could be with Sam...

fighting naps

right now, we have an awesome routine. Gemma wakes up at 6:30ish, goes back down for a nap at 8:30ish, then another nap at 1:30-2ish, then down for the night at 7:30ish. For a long time now, she has been going down without a fuss, even without any settling. I could just plop her in her crib, give her my robe (her lovey), and she will turn over and go to sleep. 

the last few days, she has really been fighting me on naps. even as i write this, she has been whining in her room for over 20 minutes. i am sure she is not ready to go down to one nap, but i guess i could try keeping her awake longer in between. i am just afraid she will be overtired...

oh well. i guess we'll figure something out. i just love that when you think you have something down pat, she goes and changes everything! LOL...

Tower 1

...all done!

I can't tell you how many times I've burned my fingers doing this. Those popcorn kernels are TINY!

oh, this was basically says "happy Dol"

Planning Parties

In our B&M class, there are quite a few December babies (seven, to be exact). So we decided to have a December babies birthday party at the end of November (with one November baby). We were at our friend Jeff's house today making party plans and I think got quite a bit accomplished with deciding this and that. 

This party is just a week before Gemma's big party, so I'm a party-planning mess right now. Things are slowly coming together though for the Dol: venue is picked, menu is picked, guest list is pretty much done, most of the invitations are printed, addressed, and stamped, one of the Dol towers is finished (3 more to go), and we received the party favors in the mail today! 

It's kinda daunting as I go back to work in a week, have two parties to plan and pay for, and many, many DIY projects to do. I still have to find a cake I like and order it, order the ddeok (korean rice cake), order flowers, buy a tablecloth, finish the towers, decide on the photographer, and a gazillion more things. As if I couldn't be busy enough, i have a wedding and two birthday parties to attend before the end of November, so three of my weekends are GONE... oh and Thanksgiving... make that four...

This Sunday, we're getting some pictures taken of Gemma from one of the photographic candidates. The idea is to display some of these at the party. 

I think I bit off a bit more than i can chew.... what do you think?

Costly Addiction

someone seriously needs to stop me. Ever since I heard about the baby deal-a-day sites, I've been buying things left and right. I may not necessarily NEED them, but they're cute or a really good deal, so I cave. I must have spent nearly $500 (if not more) since my addiction began...

Like today, they had four pairs of BabyLegs on for $20. They retail at about $15 each, so even though i have 6 pairs already, i HAD to get them. Then the excuse I give myself is that I will give them out as Christmas gifts to Gemma's cousins, but that's what i said when I ordered the super cute Taylor Joelle hats! 

I wish I could just put away my credit card and control my urges that way, but of course i have the number, the expiry date, and the security code all memorized... sigh...

I've NEVER been like this. I HATE spending money and am not usually impulsive on purchases. Sometimes i wish Gemma was a boy and then maybe there would be less cute stuff to tempt me. LOL.

Umma!

Tonight, while I was making supper, Gemma crawled up to me, pulled on my pant leg and said "umma". Umma is Korean for "mom" and we've been teaching her this for a long time, but this is the first time she ever said it. She says it PERFECTLY and, as you can guess, I practically melted to the floor when she said it.

New Car Seat

Gemma is growing out of her infant seat. Actually we had bought a convertible car seat months ago (Safety 1st Alpha Omega), but found that it was just too big to fit rear-facing in our matrix. It fits in the Envoy just fine, so that's where it will stay. 

After asking around, looking around, and researching on the web, I found the Britax Diplomat, which is specifically made for small cars like mine. I was elated when I found it on sale on a Canadian web site with free shipping! 

I finally got it yesterday and Jesse installed it as soon as he got home. There is still plenty of space between the driver's seat and the car seat, which i was so happy to see. It looks comfortable and Gemma doesn't seem to mind it TOO much just yet - but then again, she hates being in the car no matter what....

Today on our way home from Baby & Me, she fell asleep and her head didn't tilt forward, which I was happy to see. We always have that problem in the Alpha Omega and someone has to hold her forehead up...

So if you know anyone who is looking for a convertible car seat for their small vehicle, this is a good one (from what I can gather so far).

Teething Bling Fail

About a month or two ago, I came upon this thing called Teething Bling on a web site. It's a necklace that the mom wears and the baby can chew on it if they want, and I guess the whole point is to save your nice jewelry, hair, and hoodie drawstrings from all the drool and gumming. A few weeks after, I saw that one of the moms at B&M was wearing it and I asked how she liked it and she said she loved it. Then I found out that the teething bling web site was having a 50% sale and so of course I got on that. 

Well I received it a few days ago and washed it and put it on. Then I picked Gemma up and was all eager to see how much she was just going to LOVE this thing. She looked at the pendant, picked it up, looked at me, and then tried to put the pendant in my mouth. 

and that's what she always does. I have yet to see her put it in her own mouth. I have to constantly say "no thank you, you chew it". She thinks it's funny though and I like to see her laugh, so I amuse her from time to time...

Too bad I don't have any new teeth coming in...

a late update

I should have mentioned this last week, but Gemma got her top two teeth.

Keys

Why is it that EVERY baby is obssessed with KEYS?

Smart Cookie

The other day, Gemma started pointing and making a kind of grunting noise to try to tell us what she wants. She also understands so many words (though all in Korean) - mom, dad, grandma, flower, duck, shoes, butterfly, Reggie, food, no (even though she doesn't obey), come here, water, knock-knock...

if we ask her where her nose is, she will put her hand in her mouth (her hand just doesn't quite make it up to her nose). if we say mansei (which is like "hurray!"), she will put both arms up over her head. 

we have these alphabet blocks that have things inside them as an example of a word that starts with the letter on the block (A has an airplane, B has a banana, etc). Yesterday, we lined up five blocks, one of them being D (with a duck inside), and when we asked Gemma where the duck was, she picked up the D block!

I'm so proud of her.... could you tell?

Discipline!?

I never knew a 9-month-old could be such terror. Isn't the terribleness supposed to start when they're 2 years old? This kid has such a bad temper and is so darn moody! (i swear my genes had nothing to do with it, LOL) She is so overly dramatic and I swear it's getting worse everyday. I feel like I don't want to give in to her demands if she is screaming, but what can I do? I feel like we're always battling each other - like who is gonna give in first? I tell ya, this kid is relentless. She can scream non-stop for a good solid hour or longer if I ignore her. How do I discipline her? I'm not against spanking, but right now she won't be able to understand why I'm spanking her. But that goes the same with me raising my voice, ignoring her, whatever. She won't understand why I'm being "mean" to her.

Help!

Party Planning

In Korean tradition, the first birthday is a HUGE deal. I just had a realization this morning that I better get planning right away, especially since I won't have much time once I go back to work. 

First, I need to decide WHERE to have it. The guests will likely be my family, my mom's church friends, our friends, and maybe Jesse's family (they haven't decided yet whether they would come for it). I would also like to invite some of the ladies I work with, as well as our baby & me friends. So the dilemma is whether to have it in Edmonton or in Calgary. Of course things would be easier to plan if it was in Calgary, but probably less people would be able to make it if it was here (family-wise). 

Then, I need to decide on a venue. A restaurant or a hotel? 

Then, a theme.... that's gonna be a hard one. 

Then I can start working on the decoration ideas, gift ideas, game ideas, look into photographers, etc.

Did you think i was joking when I said it was a HUGE deal? Jesse and I are aware that Gemma's dol (1st birthday party) will cost us somewhere along the lines of what our wedding reception cost us. But we WANT to have a big party for her and have been preparing for this even before she was born.

I guess Jesse and I will have a lot to discuss in the next few days...

9 months

We went to the doctor for her 9-month check. She is 19 lb 5 oz. I'm not even gonna keep track of her length, because there is such a huge margin of error and at some appointments she is shorter than she was at the last one. 

I think she is pretty well on track with her development. Over the weekend, she began saying new consonants. Until then, she was always only saying B's (like bbabbabba) and Jesse was always thrilled because "abba" is korean for daddy and he keeps saying that is her first word (i don't think so!). Now she has added "ch", "j", "y", and "d". It's really funny because sometimes it sounds like she is saying "Jeshee"...

She is a big climber. She likes to climb stairs, mattresses, pillows, ME, Reggie's bed, etc. She also likes to stand up against the TV stand and open the door and pull out all the DVDs. She is also a really fast crawler and will "run away" from you if you're trying to prevent her from getting into trouble. She loves to go and splatter Reggie's water bowl all over the floor and so we have to constantly move his water bowl throughout the day. She can "jam-jam" which is opening and closing the fist repeatedly. If we say "ko" (which means nose), she will put her hand in her mouth (she is supposed to touch her nose, but it doesn't quite make it up to it). She is warming up to people a lot faster now (she will still cry initially, but usually that's all). She's also began biting (i don't know if that's just cuz she is teething) people, especially my mom. She will often come up to me and put her open mouth on my body, whether it's my knee, my arm, my face, anything. If she finds my robe on the floor, she likes to smother herself in it and roll around in it. 

Eating-wise, she seems to be getting pickier. She is okay with most vegetables, but she is now starting to dislike meats, i think. She still loves any and all fruit. She is nursing twice a day with formula once a day. I started her on homo milk to drink with her meals and she loves it. 

When we saw the doctor yesterday, he was really not a fan of giving homo AT ALL before 1 year. Apparently cow's milk interferes with iron absorption in the stomach and can lead to anemia. AND apparently a study done following kids who were anemic as babies showed that they had slightly lower IQs. So what should I do? 

Also with the weaning, I decided to keep nursing until she is 1. The main reason for weaning was to possibly get pregnant again, but after talking over it with Jesse a few more times, we decided we would wait til spring maybe. Although if we aren't preggers by July 2011, Gemma will probably be our only biological child.

and I think that's it for now.

First Zoo Trip

My brother is here visiting and we decided to go to the zoo yesterday. It was incredibly busy and I don't think we'll ever go again on a long weekend. Too many people...

While we had fun, it was windy and Gemma was tired and so we had to cut the trip short. But it was neat to see her react to all the different animals. She was so mesmerized and was talking the entire time (ooh-ing and ahh-ing). Here are a few pictures to enjoy:

Little Climber

So we're feeling much better in the K household. Gemma has a bit of phlegm, but she is eating better now and sleeping better. Phew!

Today, she climbed the stairs in our house. Even just a few days ago, she was struggling to get her legs up, but today she is climbing like a pro. We have 16 steps in our house and she went up about a dozen before she got tired and didn't want to go up anymore.

She is also going to be 9 months old tomorrow, which means she will have spent half of her life inside me and half of her life outside! I can't believe how much she has grown...

so sick, but so cute

Gemma has exactly what I had. My voice is finally coming back and she is just losing hers. And - she coughs and then cries, which is so sad to see, but really cute at the same time. Poor thing cries out, but her voice is so hoarse... 

She is unfortunately not sleeping well due to the coughing and crying. I hear her almost every 20 minutes or so and she is exhausted during the day from having had such poor sleep. 

I am hoping she'll feel better soon, but unfortunately if it's running the same course with her as it did with me, she won't be back to normal for a couple of weeks at least... 

Please keep us in your thoughts!

Cold and Tooth

When Jesse's folks were here last week, his mom got sick near the end of their stay here. She had a really sore throat with lots of coughing... she had to sleep on an incline on the couch to help the phlegm come out. Two days after they left, my throat began to hurt and I was soon in the same boat of hacking up a storm. My voice was pretty much gone and I was wearing a flu mask around the house in an effort to keep the sickness to myself. 

Today, I am feeling much better. Voice is still not back to normal and I am coughing here and there, but otherwise I feel okay. Unfortunately a couple nights ago, Gemma woke up in the middle of the night with a fever and last night she woke up with a hoarse cry... 

I suppose I should be thankful - she is nearly 9 months old and this is her first illness. I think she is also getting her top tooth and so that doesn't help either. Thankfully she is still somewhat happy during the day and still napping alright. Weirdly though, my little porker is not wanting to eat for the last few days, which is totally out of character for her. 

So far Jesse and mom are still okay; my brother is here visiting for a week and I hope he doesn't have to go back home sick. I sure hope Gemma sleeps better tonight (last night was really rough)...

First Boo-Boo

Last night while my mom was watching her, Gemma got her first real boo-boo. She was crawling around in the bonus room when she stopped to pat the glass on our TV stand. She was sitting at this point and when she decided she had had enough, she tried to go back on to the crawling position when one of her arms got stuck under her. In trying to get her arm out, she flopped forward and banged her forehead on the corner of the TV stand.

It looked really bad (i don't think the pictures do it justice) and we thought for sure she would wake up this morning with a full-blown black eye. After consoling her, I tried to ice it, but Gemma didn't like that very much. So then I grabbed an egg out of the fridge, washed it with soap and water, then rolled it over her own goose egg. This is a korean thing and it works quite well. It's definitely looking much better today.

Since this happend on my mom's watch, she was really beating herself up over it. Even though I was thisclose to crying upon seeing Gemma's forehead, I had to restrain myself as I didn't want my mom to feel even worse. I mean, I guess these things happen. Kids bang their heads, get scraped, cut, and bruised as they learn to be more careful and aware of their surroundings. As much as I want to, I can't wrap her up in bubble wrap and never let her move, can I? ............ or can I?.....LOL.

Weaning

I can remember the first few weeks of having Gemma home and how hard breastfeeding was. It sure has come a long way. If on day 3 of being at home someone told me I would still be nursing her, I may not have believed it. It was a tough struggle for 5 months, but I am so glad I didn't give in. Gemma is a healthy little girl, hasn't been sick yet (knock on wood), and is so incredibly smart. I'm sure I can't give breastfeeding all the credit, but I think I can give a little. 

It's hard to believe I'm here writing about weaning her. I ask myself this everyday, but... where has the time gone? I am returning to work on October 4 and I am now slowly starting the process of weaning Gemma. Since starting solids, Gemma was nursing four times a day. I'm now cutting that down to three, and hopefully to two by the middle of September, which is *gasp* just a few weeks away.

Yesterday was our first day of cutting down to three. I decided to give her formula to make up for the lost nursing session. This will continue until September when I will give her homo milk and formula (maybe milk once a day and formula once a day). By mid-late September, I hope to be down to two. 

How do I feel, you ask? Happy and sad. I look forward to having my "independence" back and not having that timeframe of 3 hours or so to be back at home to nurse Gemma (which makes having a dinner/movie date rather impossible). I look forward to not having leaky boobs anymore or waking up with a towel over me. I look forward to being able to wear a normal bra that offers some good support! And I look forward to the possibility of getting pregnant again. 

But I'm sad as I approach the end of this special bonding time between me and my daughter. She will no longer rely on me for this one-of-a-kind nourishment that only I can give her, which separates me from any other caregiver. I will miss her looking up at me as to say "thank you mommy". And now that Gemma is so mobile and independent, I will miss these moments where she lets me cuddle with her.

Once we go down to two times a day, I will decide whether to continue on with that until she is one or to just wean her completely. It's definitely been a struggle at times, but I am so happy I persevered and I hope I can do this again some day.

Temper, Temper

Gemma is really enjoying her new found independence now that she is crawling and standing up on virtually EVERYTHING, keeping me on my toes all day long. She also throws a fit if I don't let her pull up on something or open something or just basically if I try to stop her from doing anything that she is determined to do. She also doesn't really want to sit very much anymore and if I try to sit her down, she straightens her legs out and pushes back and screams her head off - like a full-on temper tantrum. Yesterday, I had her sitting on the dining table as I was trying to put a bib on her before I gave her some watermelon... Well, she didn't want that bib on and threw a fit and... hit her head really hard on the table. Of course she began screaming even more (it must have hurt so bad...) and I was busy trying to console her after that. 

I can see that I have to be very diligent in disciplining her and teaching her what she can and can't do... I don't want to be one of those moms having to deal with her kid throwing a tantrum on the floor of the grocery store because the kid didn't get what she wanted...

Can't Fool Blood

That's something my mom says all the time and it seems to be true. As you know, Gemma is quite shy and not a big fan of strangers talking to her, nevermind holding her. Grandma and Grandpa are here right now for a visit and even though Gemma hasn't seen them in quite some time (grandma since April and grandpa hasn't seen her since she was 2 weeks old!) she has really warmed up to them fast. It's like she somehow knows that they are family and so she can relax around them. 

...and now she is enjoying all the attention, not to mention the extra playmates. 

... and i would be lying if I said i wasn't enjoying the little break... hehehehe

Pediatrician

A few months ago, Gemma developed this odd head movement where she would shrug her shoulder/head on one side. Some days, she would only do it once or twice and other days she would do it ten times in 1 minute. I took her to the family doctor and while we were there Gemma actually did the movement. Dr. McCracken wasn't sure what it could be, so sent us to see Dr. Klym, a pediatrician. 

Thankfully the wait wasn't long to see her, only about a month. Unfortunately the wait to see her today was really long (over an hour!) and by the time we got to see her, Gemma was extremely cranky. 

I had taken a video of this head movement just after the referral was made and showed it to Dr. Klym. She then asked me a hundred questions regarding my pregnancy, Gemma's birth and development, and Jesse's and my family histories. 

She told me she thinks they are stereotypies, a transient movement disorder in children under 3. She thinks that Gemma will grow out of them (and in fact, she hasn't had these movements in weeks) and that I shouldn't worry unless it got much worse or it was starting to hurt her. She said sometimes stereotypies are linked to a developmental disorder or autism, Aspergers, etc., but by seeing and examining Gemma today and by hearing about Gemma's milestones, she doesn't think I have anything to worry about in that respect. In fact, she said Gemma seems even advanced for her age...*phew*

We still need to follow up with her in 3-6 months, just to make sure things are still good. Needless to say, I'm glad we got this sorted out.

Trying to Keep Up

Well, I suppose Gemma has been "crawling" for weeks. She could get across the room pretty fast and get into mischief just by army crawling. But I think it's official now - Gemma is crawling... on all fours. Unlike most things that happened overnight, this was a long time coming work in progress. At first, she was only inchworming. Then, she could come up on all fours, but not go anywhere. Then, she could move one hand or one foot and then plop on her face. Then, it was like she could move one "step". Next was two "steps". Next was three, etc. 

Yesterday, for the first time, Gemma crawled on all fours and then sat back down on her bum. 

Poor thing has a bit of a rug burn on her knees from all this crawling and so I bought some leggings to put on her. 

While it's so cute to watch her crawl around and enjoy the little independence she has, I have to say trying to keep up with her all day is getting more difficult. Jesse finally got around to childproofing all the kitchen and bathroom cupboards yesterday. And I find myself vacuuming nearly everyday just so Gemma doesn't grab a clump of dog hair and stuff it in her mouth...

In other news, we're off to Gemma's specialist appointment tomorrow morning. It's right when she has to go down for her morning nap, so it's gonna be a challenge to keep her happy while we're there, but I hope everything goes okay. Keep us in your thoughts!

8 Months

It's amazing how time flies when you are a parent. I know every month I say this, but man I can't believe Gemma is already 8 months old. She is so incredibly smart and strong and it's already getting harder to keep up with her every day! Not to mention (and as you can see from the previous posts) her personality and temperament are really "shining" through...

At 8 months, she can:

• Weight: 18 lb 7 oz!!!!! 
• Length: 27 inches
• Wave bye-bye.
• Pull to standing from a sitting position.
• Extremely mobile (and fast!) even though she hasn't yet mastered the proper way of crawling.
• Knows "umma" (mom), "appa" (dad), and "harmony" (grandma) and will look at the said person. Oh and she knows "Reggie" too.
• Nurses four times a day and eats three meals. 
• Can drink from a cup all on her own.
• Loves any kind of fruit and favorite veggies include: yam, green beans, cauliflower, squash.
• Loves to feed herself, whether it's finger foods or just grabbing the spoon out of my hand.
• Loves books and being read to. 
• Very talkative - bababababa and sometimes it sounds like she is saying "appa" (dad), which gets Jesse terribly excited.
• Likes to open and close cupboard doors (we're gonna do more childproofing tomorrow).
• Hates hats and sunglasses - any advice on this?
• Favorite toy at the moment - a can of gingerale.

She is very attached to me and will whine if she sees me leave the room, even if someone else is with her. I'm going back to work in 2 months and I wonder how we'll do...

...Sigh...

The last few times I've gone to a social "thing" with Gemma, she has been very difficult. She usually enjoys things like Baby & Me and playdates, but lately I spend 80% of the time or more just trying to shush her because she is whining and screaming. She will sit and play for a minute or two, sometimes only a few seconds, and will start to cry for no reason. Things would be easier if I could quiet her down by just holding her, but that doesn't always work either. It's getting to be embarrassing and even though most of the moms I see have known Gemma for a long time, it doesn't make it any less mortifying. 

All the other babies are so mellow; they are happy to just sit, lie, roll, whatever. They don't need constant attention and are fascinated with just the toys or each other. If they're tired, they'll just fall asleep in their moms' arms, but most of them can stay awake and be just fine the entire time. So if these babies can, why can't Gemma? 

I have to admit, today when I got home, I was really frustrated with her. Even angry. I let her scream it out while I went to wash my hands and then nursed her and then let her play in her exersaucer while I sat in another room. Ten minutes later I came out, cooled down, and asked her for a kiss and she gave me one on the lips. I can't stay mad at that, can I? 

When we're at home, MOST of the time she is fine. I think she is getting some of Jesse's personality in that she likes to stay home, but getting my personality in the way she shows her unhappiness. What a combo. 

Of course the other moms are super nice and tell me they don't even notice her screaming, but I feel bad every time they have to speak over her screams or stop talking because of her screaming. Nonetheless, I'm very lucky these women are so forgiving...

Heritage Festival

Every August long weekend, Edmonton hosts its heritage festival at Hawrelak Park. For those of you who don't know, it's basically 50 different nationalities who each put up a tent and serve the food of their culture and show off arts, crafts, and performance art. It's a great chance to get to know other cultures better and get a taste of different foods. 

Jesse and I LOVE the heritage festival and we try to go every year. Unfortunately it didn't work out the last 2 years, but we were determined to go this year and so we did. I was nervous about how Gemma would do, but she ended up sleeping in the stroller for about an hour while we walked around, which was a huge surprise. It was extremely hot and I got sunburnt despite the SPF 55 sunscreen I was wearing.

For food, we had Indian (which I am not normally fond of, but it was delicious!), Korean hotteok (mmm...), Chilean cheese empanada, Croatian donut (which is just basically a giant slab of fried dough covered in icing sugar and DELICIOUS), a mango slushy drink, and a "refreshing" pineapple drink. 

As for Gemma, even while she was awake she didn't seem too interested in her surroundings. We stood and watched the Aboriginal dance, which was incredible to watch, but Gemma couldn't care less. 

We also stayed in a hotel, which was Gemma's first time, and while it went better than expected, it was still rough and I don't think we'll do that again for awhile. 

Now we can rest up today and catch up on some ZZZs.