Fears

I think that must be the one negative thing about being a parent - fears of something bad happening to your child. I don't know why, but this past week has been rough on me emotionally and I've been plagued by nightmares, sometimes two or three in one night. One recurring dream since having Gemma has been where I am trying to get to her, but not being able to. Jesse told me about three nights ago he had dreamt that Gemma died after swallowing a bunch of liquid that came out of a teething toy. I also worry about something happening to me while I am home alone with Gemma and she would be alone for hours before someone came home.

This really sucks because I haven't had a good night's sleep in a week because of these nightmares. I'm also incredibly irritable during the day (maybe due to the lack of sleep?) and find myself snapping on everyone around me, including the poor dog. 

I really need to get out of this emotional funk I'm in... but how?

Welcome, Ruby!

My cousin Lawrence and his wife Jill welcomed their baby girl on Sunday - Ruby MinHee Kim. Apparently labor was quick (4 hours... grrrr!!!!!) and mom and baby are well. Congrats you guys and Gemma has another cousin to play with!!!

Copycat

At Baby & Me today, Gemma was watching an older baby crawl around and tried to do it herself! She can get on all fours and move her knees, but hasn't figured out how to move her arms as she is moving her knees, so she just topples on her face. Trust me, though, I'm not in any hurry for her to start crawling!

Standing Up!

Yesterday I noticed Gemma kept trying to pull up on things. She even tried to pull up on one of her toys and ended up flat on her back with the toy on top of her (don't worry, she's fine). So I took her to her crib and tried to see if she could really pull herself up and, to my surprise, she could! I was so ecstatic, I brought out the camcorder and made her do it again. When Jesse got home later in the day, Gemma gave him a demonstration of how good she is at pulling herself up! Then, she even coasted a bit along the crib rail and went around one corner. She fell a couple of times, but pulled herself back up and kept going!

Seriously, I can't believe how much she has grown in these months and I am having a hard time keeping up with all the new milestones she is reaching! I am so proud!

Separation Anxiety/Teething

A little off topic, but this is my 200th post!

Moving on...

The last few days have been really hard. Gem's teething and going through major separation anxiety for some reason and will cry if I am not holding her. Needless to say, my arms and legs are extremely sore from the extra 17 pounds I'm carrying around in my arms. At one point, just sitting with her wasn't enough - she HAD to be held, but it has improved to the point now where I can sit next to her and play with her and she will be satisfied with that. However, as soon as I get up or turn around, she will start to scream... and with Gemma, there is no whining in between the happy and scream - it goes from 0-100 in 0.0000001 seconds. 

Wednesday was the worst. Yesterday was a bit better. Today is so far much better. I'm sure it will continue to get better...

No Peas Please

I have to say, Gemma is a tremendous eater. She isn't too picky and even if she doesn't like the taste, she'll still swallow and continue to open up for more. Obviously she much prefers the sweeter fruits to the vegetables, but still she will accept a very varied diet. Green beans, cauliflower, broccoli, beef, chicken, yogurt, egg yolk, avocado, etc. She will eat them all, some more happily than others. 

Until yesterday. 

Costco has started carrying organic frozen veggies and so I picked up a bag of peas. Gemma has been eating finger foods (Cheerios, banana slices, crackers, etc) for a little while now, so i gave her some peas on her plate that she could pick up and eat herself. 

She picked one up carefully between her fingers and placed it in her mouth, gummed down several times, then...

all hell broke loose. 

She started screaming as if to say "what are you trying to do to me, woman?". 

and of course the mean mom that I am, I put another pea in her mouth, which she protested and screamed about even more. I then took a few and mushed it with a fork, then gave it to her in a spoon. She opened her mouth willingly, but then as soon as it was in her mouth, she began screaming again. So Gemma is screaming and crying in her high chair with peas all still just resting on her tongue and Jesse and I are laughing our heads off because we have never seen her react this way to anything we have given her thus far. As soon as I put a Cheerio in her mouth, she is happily gumming it down. The moment I put a pea in, she is back to screaming.

Jesse was telling Gemma how proud he is of her for hating peas (it's probably Jesse's least favorite vegetable) and cheering everytime she screamed. Nice, huh? Dads.... sigh...

BBQ

Yesterday, we were invited to a BBQ thrown by one of the moms of Baby & Me. It was a daddy date, a chance for the guys to meet one another, as well as for moms to chat and just hang out. It wasn't even that hard to convince my anti-social husband to come. 

and I had a great time. I truly like all the women I have met and while I didn't chat away with the husbands, it was apparent that all the men were very nice as well. We left a bit earlier than everyone else though because Gemma was getting just WAY too fussy and it was getting close to her bedtime. I wish we could've stayed longer. 

To be honest, I had a really hard week and the BBQ really helped to lift me out of this funk I was in.

So thanks again Annette for the BBQ and for inviting us!

I Scream, You Scream...

My baby has found her voice... and she loves to use it. She began screaming to tell us she has woken up, to tell me she is frustrated, to tell me she needs something different, to tell me she doesn't like what is happening. I can tell already that she is gonna have major temper tantrums soon. She is already very stubborn and impatient, and it won't be long until she lets me know it's her way or nothing else. Obviously, Jesse's personality genes did not make it into her DNA...

sigh...

But she is so very sweet most of the time and still can melt my heart with a smile. I can listen to her blowing rasberries all day and watch her sweet little face til the cows come home. Screams or no screams, I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world.

7 Months

Wow, where has the time gone?

• weight: 17 lb
• will hold arms out if you ask for her hands
• understands "Reggie" (she will look at him if we say his name)
• sleeps about 11 hours at night, naps about 3 hours during the day
• will scream if frustrated
• can pick up small things like Cheerios, but hasn't mastered the art of releasing the grip in her mouth
• can feed herself a cracker, except for the little piece that gets left in her hand, and bananas
• can pick up and drink from a regular cup without spilling too much
• loves to eat and can tolerate more textures
• reeeeally close to crawling, but not quite there - still inchworming
• makes strange, but is starting to warm up faster
• likes to bang things
• loves having her face washed and lotion put on afterwards
• will kick at the sight of a new diaper in protest

... i'm sure there's more, but that's all for now...

Weekend

My cousin Lawrence and his wife Jill are expecting in just a couple of weeks and we went to Edmonton for their baby shower on Sunday. It's always nice to see family, even though it was hectic with the many people there, including kids. Gemma spent most of the time crying, but she had good moments in there where she would let people talk to her and even hold her sometimes. I think we are making progress with her making strange.

When my cousins heard about me taking away Gemma's soother, they were surprised and questioned my rationale for it. My one cousin's kids did not take soothers, my other cousin doesn't have any kids yet but still wondered why I did what I did (in a questioning manner), and my other cousin said her kids had them until they were two and it was easy to take it away at that point. I'm really happy with our decision to take away her soother now, but I have to admit, I was surprised at the lack of support and I found myself questioning myself, whether I had made the right choice in doing this. 

It's true Gemma's naps are not as great as they used to be. I think partly the reason her naps aren't as good is that she is getting older and not needing to sleep as much as she used to. Now, Gemma's total nap time is about 3.5 hours a day. Before, it was around 5 hours or more. And it is getting easier everyday to settle her down for her naps without her soother. Her nighttime sleep, as mentioned before, is much better.

Yesterday morning was a challenge in that Gemma was not going to nap. After struggling with my thoughts all the day prior, I decided to give her a soother (I had missed one in the cupboard). I figured if I only gave it to her for her naps, it would be okay as eventually she would stop napping altogether and not need it anymore. I totally expected her to stop shrieking immediately and start sucking as if all was right with the world once again. Instead, she screamed harder as to say "Get this thing out of my mouth". So I did, then cuddled her a bit more, and she fell asleep.

So how did I feel after that?

GREAT. It assured me that Gemma's sleep disturbance isn't due to her missing her soother; I am not depriving her of something she still really wants; She has apparently forgotten it already. It put my inner conflict to rest. It gave me peace...LOL... and I'm proud of her.

I know the cliche: I know and should do what is best for my family. But sometimes that is easier said than done when it seems everyone thinks you're wrong. Oh well. One thing is for sure: Gemma isn't gonna be one of those toddlers running around with a soother in her mouth.