second time not so easy

I seem to be constantly sabotaging myself.

When I was pregnant with Leni, I expected my pregnancy to be similar to when I was pregnant with Gemma, especially after finding out this one was a girl also. And because I wasn't expecting it to be too different, boy was I surprised when I kept getting hit with all kinds of physical and emotional challenges...

When I was nearing the end of my pregnancy, I expected my labor and delivery to be similar to Gemma's, if not easier and shorter. And while the labor was indeed shorter and easier, the delivery took me for a ride that I never expected. Instead of "two pushes and she'll be out", as you know, it was so difficult and rather traumatizing...

When Leni was born, I expected the same challenges with breastfeeding and felt confident I could pull through. While the latching was once again an issue, I never even dreamed of the difficulty getting her to eat, stay awake, nipple confusion, and all that kerfuffle with the jaundice and such. 

When Leni hit 6 weeks, I expected her to do well with the same routine as the one I put Gemma through - eat, play, sleep. While it showed promise in the first day, I can tell you it's not working like it did with Gemma and I am at a loss as to how to handle this "different" baby. 

When I was pregnant with Gemma, I never knew what to expect... That was way better. I ought to know what I'm doing since this is my second time around, but nothing works the way it did before. While I know that every child is different, I can't help but to always refer to what worked with Gemma and I am at a loss when the same tricks don't work on Leni. All I need to do is find a routine that works with Leni, but I only just get frustrated that she won't take to the same things that Gemma did.

If I may offer one unsolicited advice to anyone expecting their second child, that is to clear your mind as if this is your first and take to everything like this is your first time. Don't get cocky - it will only screw you over. 

Now to listen to my own advice....

adult height

when i was at a playdate a couple of weeks ago, i learned a neat trick for determining your child's height as an adult. 

For girls, on their second birthday, take their height measurement and multiply by two to get the adult height. 

For boys, when they turn 30 months (2-1/2), take their height and multiply by two. 

Just for fun, we measured Gemma's height (i know she isn't two yet) and got an adult height of 167 cm, which is a centimeter shorter than me right now. So if this method is correct (and there are some firm believers out there), she won't be shopping in the petite section, that's for sure!

A Big Bed for a Big Girl

On Friday night, we made the switch from crib to the big bed for Gemma - not a toddler bed, but her bed bed. After supper, Jesse (with Gemma's help) took the crib apart and said goodbye. We were so worried about all kinds of safety issues with the bed (her falling off it while she fools around before going to sleep, etc), but in the end decided that she will just have to know not to jump on it. Although she is used to sleeping in pure darkness, I put up two night lights so she can see the edges of the bed if she were to wake up and also the step stool that she uses to go up on to the bed. 

Of course we were also curious to see how she would handle her first night and what she would do with all this freedom (of not being cooped up), so we set up a video camera. 

When we left after saying goodnight, she cried very briefly, but then was quiet. Then, about 20 minutes later, she began crying again and I could hear her trying to open her door. Then, the crying went further away from the door. I went in after about 20 minutes of her crying and found her sitting on her bed. I said goodnight to her again, took the video camera, and left her room. 

When we watched the video, we saw that right away she actually tried to sleep (that was the 20 minutes of quiet). Then, she got restless and started to cry, came down the steps and to the door, then went back to the steps, back to the door, then back to the steps, climbed up, and sat on her bed and cried there for about 5 minutes before I came in. 

Jesse and I were super impressed that she didn't spend the initial part jumping or acting crazy (which is what she would do in her crib for upwards of an hour before actually falling asleep). 

In the morning, my mom went in at the first sound of her being awake and found her sitting on her step, reading a book. *insert awww here*

On Saturday, her nap proved to be more difficult and she only slept 30 minutes after screaming for 40 minutes. 

Today, she has been sleeping for 1 hour now. 

I was worried about moving her out of her crib cold turkey, but I think she is handling it quite well. The crib is sitting in our room, but she hasn't pined for it or anything. I think she is ready to pass it on to Leni...

New Ride

On Saturday, we bought a 2011 Dodge grand caravan. 

we are now minivan folk. 

but it had to be done, as since Leni was born, we haven't been able to go out all five of us as a family. 

and i hate to admit it, but.... we're loving the van.

A New Routine

So after the nightmarish week of Leni not sleeping, things have turned for the better. I admit nights are still hard in that she is still eating every 3 hours, but her daytime naps have improved dramatically. I think the reason for the fickle naps was entirely my fault. In looking for the easy way out, I let Leni sleep however she wanted and wherever she happened to fall asleep. I forgot how important it is to swaddle, sleep her on her back, and in the same spot always. It's true - for many naps, I had her on her tummy, just because she would get a solid sleep that way. No more. I implemented the same routine that I had with Gemma, which is eat, play sleep (swaddled, take her to the bathroom with the fan on, then put her down before she actually falls asleep). 

and it's now working. It took a couple of tries to get her used to the swaddle again and also sleeping on her back again, but we've got it now, i think. 

We also got a new soother to try - the soothie. While she doesn't love this soother, she takes it way better than any other. And while this isn't the answer to all our problems, it allows me to get an extra hour or so of sleep during the night when Leni cries out.

We've only been doing this routine for the last few days, but so far it is working great. I just hope with time she will only sleep longer and longer during the night... here's hoping...

A Family of God

A week and a half ago, my mom's church pastor, his wife, and the head deacon of the church, as well as his wife, came for a visit on their way to Radium. They came when Gemma was a month or so old and they prayed for us and reminded of the importance of raising Gemma in a Christian home. 

Once again, they came and prayed for us and gave us the same reminders, but this time it made me feel a little bit guilty in that I had forgotten his message previously. We had talked about getting Gemma dedicated, but that has not yet happened, mostly because we're lazy - there. I admit it. 

When Leni was born, Jesse and I once again discussed getting the girls dedicated. Our church has specified dedication weekends, and the next one isn't until November. I was reading the info about dedications on the church web site and it sounds like they prefer you to be more involved with the church and/or become a member... I'm not entirely clear on the details, so the thing to do would be to speak to someone, but again, we're too lazy. how bad is that. 

Anyhoo, the pastor's reminder to us of the importance of prayer for our family and the never-ceasing appreciation of the gifts that are our children is one that I hope to never forget. And I know that before I can expect Gemma and Leni to love Jesus, I need to show them that I love Jesus. I just hope I can do that. 

the honeymoon is over

If you asked me even last week who was the easier baby, i would have definitely said Leni. 

Ask me today and I think you know my answer has now changed. 

I guess she's not that different than how Gemma was at this age (around 6 weeks was the most challenging with Gemma too), but the only thing is that Leni won't take a soother so i'm at a loss as to how to settle her when she is screaming.

She is also wanting to be held ALL THE TIME and if you even put her down for literally 3 seconds, she is screaming at the top of her lungs - not even just a whimper or a little cry, but full-out screaming. 

Because she is not taking a soother, I am also up all the time to feed her every 3 hours (by this time, Gemma was sleeping about 6 hours straight). Half of those feedings are Leni using me as a soother, rather than eating, per se. It's incredibly exhausting! And from what I hear, I'm pretty well screwed when it comes to nights if she won't take a soother... please say it isn't so... anyone have any advice?

Last night, Jesse volunteered to let me sleep through one feeding - he would give her formula instead. She screamed for a good 20 minutes and absolutely refused the bottle... this isn't the first time either, folks. I finally got up and put her on the boob and she started to chow down right away. Again, any advice on how to get her to take a bottle? if she absolutely refuses, it means i can never be away from her for more than a couple of hours...

two words/bilingualism

In the last month, Gemma has started putting two words together. For example, she would say "hi" to something, but now she says "hi **insert name of object here*". She is also putting "please" after things she wants, like "computer please" when she wants to watch something on youtube.

Another thing (and I'm so proud of this) is that she is starting to name more things in English AND Korean. A lot of times, she says both - just in case i didn't understand the first time?? LOL - like if i am sitting in a chair, she will say "nawa", then "move". She will point to Leni's eyes and say "noon, eye" etc. I don't think she gets yet that her mom and her harmony speak a different language than pretty much everybody else, but I think that day is coming soon. I hope that she will be able to differentiate who is speaking what language and communicate with them with the language that they understand. 

Something that I've been thinking about lately is Gemma starting school. When I tell people that I speak to her in Korean at home, most people say "that's great, keep that up. she will pick up english quickly when she goes to school". But then I hear many teachers complaining about how frustrated they are about these kids who come to school and don't know any english. Mind you, Gemma won't not know any english as her dad always talks to her in English, as well as her friends, but I wonder if when she hits 3 or 4 I should be *teaching* her english so that she is more ??fluent??? in it by the time she goes to kindergarten. .... but i feel like she will forget korean so fast if I don't keep it up... and i definitely don't want that...

Weight

At 1 month (and 2 days), Leni weighs 9 lb 12 oz.

Leni - 1 month old

I can't believe it. These last couple of weeks have flown by it seems. 

Leni is starting to follow objects, but has not perfected the art of it. She is definitely more awake during the day now and will sometimes quietly play for more than an hour. She is still up every 3 hours to eat during the night and I hope that will stretch out a bit soon... 

I take her in for a weight on Tuesday. 

One thing I noticed that is different is that Leni has quite the lousy skin. Gemma always had beautiful, clear skin and I remember getting complimented on her skin numerous times. Leni, on the other hand, has tons of bumps, baby acne, and those stork bites on her forehead and eyes don't help any. I know it will clear up, but I wonder if she will have problematic skin when she is a teenager. I never had problems with acne growing up, but Jesse has - so I wonder if she has more of Jesse's skin type...

The Wiggles

Saturday night, Gemma, my mom, mother-in-law, and I headed out to Gemma's very first concert! Gemma is a huge Wiggles fan (and we can't drive 5 minutes without listening to one of their CDs or go a day without putting one of their DVDs on) and I wasn't sure how often the Wiggles tour North America, so as soon as I found out they were coming to Calgary, I sought out tickets. Unfortunately, I only heard of their imminent arrival a week before the actual show, so ended up getting scalped for decent floor tickets. It's okay though - I don't think she would have enjoyed the show as much if we were sitting up high in the stands. 

I was a bit worried too that she is a bit young for the show, but she really got into it about half way through and started to dance in the aisle along with the other excited little kids. I'm sure she will never remember this and I unfortunately didn't take any pictures to show her later, but I certainly will remember and will be able to tell her about it later on. 

If they come back in a couple of years, I will definitely go back with the girls... It was so neat to see the mesmerized look on her face as she watched her favorite characters sing and dance right in front of her...

Grandma and Grandpa are here!

Every few years, Jesse's mom's side has a huge family reunion in Saskatchewan and this year happens to be one of those years. Mom and Dad stopped in on their way out there and met Leni for the first time. They also brought tons of gifts from their friends and family out in BC. Gemma and Leni got completely spoiled, that's for sure. The girls got a hand-made rocking horse, a vintage John Deere tractor, a balance bike, a bunch of books, tons of bubbles, loads of clothes, and a beautiful dish/cup/bowl set by Royal Doulton! Jesse also got reunited with his childhood stuffies (a garbage bag full) as his parents are also in the midst of moving and they are cleaning house. 

Gemma is sure loving all the attention given to her by grandma and grandpa. They are leaving tomorrow, but will be stopping again on their way back home. Tonight, Gemma, grandma, harmony, and I are off to the Wiggles concert! A girls' night out, you could say...

19 days

We went for a weigh-in again today and Leni gained over 200 g in 1 week! She is now 8 lb 5 oz!

Little Monkey

Right now, Gemma's favorite thing to do is to close the door behind someone (closing them in the room) and run away shrieking.