Boy, have things ever been busy. Last weekend, Jesse and I took a trip out to Smoky Lake, where I grew up, for a friend's wedding. I haven't been out there in probably 6years or so and before that was only there once or twice since graduating in 2002. Anyhoo, we decided to leave Gemma behind with my mom as it is quite a long drive and I didn't want to spoil Gemma's wonderful routine.
I began to cry about 10 minutes before leaving and cried for nearly an hour in the car. I didn't think it would be so hard for me to leave Gemma, but I was completely overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and fear that she would somehow forget me when I returned. I know, doesn't make sense, but I couldn't help but to think these things.
The entire weekend I called my mom every few hours to make sure everything was okay and just to hear Gemma's voice. I don't know why, but when she isn't with me, sometimes it feels like she isn't real - like I made her up or something. I don't know how to explain it...
Anyways, I returned home to find her sleeping. I can't tell you how much I wanted to wake her up and give her a hug, but I had to restrain myself. She had a ball with harmony as always and I am not sure if she even realized I had gone away and come back... This trip just confirmed how much I suffer from separation anxiety, NOT Gemma! LOL...
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