Weaning

I can remember the first few weeks of having Gemma home and how hard breastfeeding was. It sure has come a long way. If on day 3 of being at home someone told me I would still be nursing her, I may not have believed it. It was a tough struggle for 5 months, but I am so glad I didn't give in. Gemma is a healthy little girl, hasn't been sick yet (knock on wood), and is so incredibly smart. I'm sure I can't give breastfeeding all the credit, but I think I can give a little. 

It's hard to believe I'm here writing about weaning her. I ask myself this everyday, but... where has the time gone? I am returning to work on October 4 and I am now slowly starting the process of weaning Gemma. Since starting solids, Gemma was nursing four times a day. I'm now cutting that down to three, and hopefully to two by the middle of September, which is *gasp* just a few weeks away.

Yesterday was our first day of cutting down to three. I decided to give her formula to make up for the lost nursing session. This will continue until September when I will give her homo milk and formula (maybe milk once a day and formula once a day). By mid-late September, I hope to be down to two. 

How do I feel, you ask? Happy and sad. I look forward to having my "independence" back and not having that timeframe of 3 hours or so to be back at home to nurse Gemma (which makes having a dinner/movie date rather impossible). I look forward to not having leaky boobs anymore or waking up with a towel over me. I look forward to being able to wear a normal bra that offers some good support! And I look forward to the possibility of getting pregnant again. 

But I'm sad as I approach the end of this special bonding time between me and my daughter. She will no longer rely on me for this one-of-a-kind nourishment that only I can give her, which separates me from any other caregiver. I will miss her looking up at me as to say "thank you mommy". And now that Gemma is so mobile and independent, I will miss these moments where she lets me cuddle with her.

Once we go down to two times a day, I will decide whether to continue on with that until she is one or to just wean her completely. It's definitely been a struggle at times, but I am so happy I persevered and I hope I can do this again some day.