11/25/09

mixed feelings now

so i know it sounds like i really want this baby out - and i do, i couldn't be happier if she came out a tad bit early happy and healthy as can be.

some of you may know, my dad has been in the hospital for... i think now almost 2 weeks... with a subdural hematoma, a bleed under the dura by his brain. he had a work accident (which actually sounds quite comical, though not funny - but for another post maybe) and has been admitted to the Lacombe Hospital. serial scans have shown the bleed has stopped and not changed in size, but the pressure of the bleed on the brain is causing him massive headaches. he is on long-acting morphine twice a day and is nearly incomprehensible. his response time and speech is slowed, he's lost 20 lb in these last 2 weeks, and is getting understandably frustrated with his pain. he's going back and forth to Edmonton for neurosurgery consults, where they are trying to figure out if they need to physically remove this blood or not. when i visited him last week, it sounded as though he was well on the road to recovery with reduced need for pain meds, but now it sounds like it's just not getting better.

so i don't know how long he's gonna be there for. and while my dad isn't my favorite person in the world, it sucks to know how much pain he is in. he, on the other hand, is more worried about me worrying about him in my "condition" and feels bad about the whole situation.

with my strict (yes, strict) rules postpartum, if the baby came now my dad wouldn't be able to see her for at least a month unless he was able to come out here somehow. so in a way, i hope she holds out a bit longer, maybe until her due date, to give my dad more time to get better.

No comments:

Post a Comment