I can't even believe it's only been 3 days since my mom left. It honestly feels like it's been 3 weeks at least. I think the hardest part of mom being gone is how lonely I am. It must sound crazy; I have two kids keeping me busy, so how could I even have the time to feel lonely? But I DO. It's not as if when mom IS here she is spending each minute with me. In fact, she is often just sitting in her room watching TV or whatever, but I miss her company during lunch and just being able to see her whenever. Once Jesse gets home, it's so hectic with dinner, getting the kids bathed and ready for bed, then we each put a kid down to sleep. After that, we basically watch TV or read and then head to bed early ourselves.
Gemma is really missing my mom. I know she doesn't quite know what it is, but something is off with her universe and she is having a hard time. She is constantly whining - yesterday, she couldn't say one thing to me without whining. She is so much more needy, always following me around and wanting to be picked up (she never does this). This morning, she woke up and said to me "harmony is at work?" and I said "no, she went on the airplane, remember?" and Gemma said "I want to see harmony". It was so sad!
To make the loneliness worse, both kids have come down with a cold and so no playdates for us. I feel daunted by the thought of taking both kids out anywhere, especially in the cold, and so we're experiencing some major cabin fever. I can't wait for the weekend!
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